


Passengers

by Introvertedintellect350



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: AI systems - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Alternate Universe - Space, Anxiety, Complete, Depression, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mechanic!Thomas, Moral Ambiguity, Passengers AU, Slow Burn, Space AU, Stranded, conflicted feelings, gays in space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:35:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 29,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21838324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Introvertedintellect350/pseuds/Introvertedintellect350
Summary: The Starship Avalon is traveling to a distant colony planet, Homestead II , a journey that will take 120 years to complete. The Avalon passes through an asteroid field and a malfunction in the spacecraft causes one hibernation pod to open early – 90 years too early – and Thomas awakes. Now struggling to face the rest of his life alone, he must make drastic decisions to save himself and the ship as it continues to malfunction.Based on the movie Passengers (2016).
Relationships: Thomas Barrow/Richard Ellis
Comments: 48
Kudos: 74





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I recently watched the movie Passengers and got inspired to write Thomas and Richard into this situation. If you haven’t seen the movie that’s alright – you don’t have to have seen it to understand the story.  
> Disclaimer: Most of the dialogue is straight from the movie itself, however, I’ll take my own liberties as any good creative writer does, but will still stick to the basic plot of the movie. I do not own the rights to Passengers, nor the characters of Downton Abbey.

_The Starship Avalon sped through the dark, endless expanse of space, shields at full power and deflecting any asteroids that came their way. There was no movement inside, as the crew and all 5,000 passengers slept soundly, meant to only awaken upon arrival to the colony of Homestead II._

__

_The Avalon approached a nebula, the number of asteroids began hitting the shields at a higher rate, increasing in size until the starship was heading straight for an asteroid too big for the shields to deflect properly and was unable to correct a course to avoid it._

__

_BOOM._

__

_The asteroid hit the barrier, becoming a million shattered pieces, causing the Avalon to shudder and groan. The lights went out, then flickered back on. As the ship began repairing itself, all the hibernation pods remained intact – all but one_.  


* * *

Thomas felt his body move, but it felt as though it was in the background, deep underwater. He felt heavy and smothered, until suddenly, he was taking a deep breath and attempting to open his eyes.

“Good morning, Thomas. How are you feeling?”

Cracking his eyes open, Thomas mumbled incoherently to the voice talking to him, unsure of what was happening and still half asleep.

“Wha. . .what’s goin’ on. . .?” He blinked, looking up to find a woman staring back at him, a holographic 3D image.

“It’s perfectly normal to feel confused. You’ve just spent one hundred and twenty years in suspended animation.” The voice speaking to him was warm, but robotic.

He frowned, still trying to adjust to the sensation of being awake. Where was he? How did he get here? Suddenly overwhelmed, Thomas flung his arms out, grabbing at whatever was around him.

“It’s okay, Thomas. Just breathe. Everything is okay.”

Taking a shuddering breath, Thomas met the gaze of the smiling woman staring back at him. She was calm, no emergency seemed to be happening. . .where ever they were. “Where are we?” He asked, his voice a raspy whisper from lack of use.

“You're a passenger on the Starship Avalon, the Homestead Company's premier interstellar starliner. We've nearly completed the voyage from Earth to your new home. The colony world of Homestead II. A new world. A fresh start. Room to grow.”

“Yeah,” his memory jogged, and he was beginning to remember now - of course. He’d signed up to live on a planet off Earth.

The holographic woman continued, “The Avalon is on final approach. For the next four months, you'll enjoy space travel at its most luxurious. Food. Fun. Friends.”

Scoffing slightly Thomas smiled wanly, “Friends.” He didn’t have very many of those, and those he did have hadn’t joined him. They had actual things to live for on earth like a family, or a job that wanted them. He didn’t have any of those things, and his father had been against him going, so naturally, he decided to go. Besides, he had a skill that was needed for a new civilization: mechanics.

“That's right, Thomas. The ID band on your wrist is your key to the wonders of the Avalon. You're in perfect health. Let's get you to your cabin, where you can get some rest.”

The pod in which he was laying had propped him into a standing position, and he lifted his wrist to find the ID band around it. Thomas stepped out of the pod, having no idea where to go, but followed the lights that led him to a network of white corridors. There were doors lining the sides of the corridor, each with a number plaque.

Feeling suddenly weak, Thomas sagged against the wall, breathing heavily. His stomach churned and his head pounded. The lights felt blinding when he stood upright, and he fought to not fall over. This was _not_ the luxurious space travel he’d been promised.

A voice overhead, same as the woman who’d been holographically projected before him when he woke up, spoke, “You may be experiencing post-hibernation sickness. Your door will illuminate for you.”

Looking down the corridor, Thomas walked unsteadily towards a door labeled 912 that had lit up blue. As he approached, the door slid open and he stumbled inside.

“Welcome to your cabin, your home until we make landfall. Over the next four months, you'll prepare for your new life on Homestead II, meet your fellow passengers, take skill-building classes, and learn about colonial living. You've been assigned to learning group 15 for passengers with mechanical and engineering technical trade skills.”

His room was sleek, all grays and soft whites. It was a modest size, equipped with a double bed, a small wardrobe, and attached bathroom. Simple and modern.

A panel on his right slid open to reveal his bags, startling him. “Please scan your ID to confirm luggage delivery.” The woman’s voice prompted.

He stared at them blankly, feeling the urge to vomit rise, and leaned hard against the wall until it passed. He was feeling worse and worse with each passing moment, feeling goosebumps prickle his body even as he was sweating.

“Thomas, please scan your ID to confirm luggage delivery.”

A glowing circle appeared before him and he lifted his wrist to it.

“To help you recover from hibernation, be sure to drink plenty of fluids. Enjoy the rest of your voyage on the Avalon, a Homestead Company Starship.” To his left, a glass of pink liquid was filled from the wall, and Thomas lunged for it, sucking it dry without considering the flavor. Once he set the cup down, he stumbled over to the bed and collapsed onto it, asleep within seconds.  


* * *

  
Thomas cracked his eyes open, feeling groggy and confused, but not nearly as bad as yesterday. Sitting up, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and yawned. Seeing as he’d just been asleep for one-hundred and twenty years, he didn’t think he’d feel so exhausted. The hologram woman did say he might experience post-hibernations sickness, so he could only assume feeling tired came with that. Maybe he’d feel better after a shower. Standing now, Thomas walked to the bathroom and started the shower, undressing while the water heated up. As he stepped in, a cheerful man’s voice greeted him over the speakers he presumed were in the walls.

“Good morning, one and all! It’s a beautiful morning here on the Starship Avalon, and whatever you do, don’t get homesick, get Homestead.”

Stepping out of a rather long shower, Thomas realized he felt more awake and more eager to see what the rest of the ship had to offer him. He’d be getting a new start here, a chance to meet people that would respect him and enjoy his company, become his friends. He decided to dress in something casual, but nice enough to make a good first impression. Opting for dark jeans and a light gray button down, he tossed a vest over his shirt and glanced in the mirror, satisfied with what he saw. He stepped out the door of his room but stopped, suddenly remembering he wasn’t wearing his watch. Time probably didn’t matter as much up here in space, he thought, but old habits die hard and wearing one of his more casual Rolex watches felt right.

When he stepped out of his room again, he realized there was a line of lights leading from his door down the corridor. He followed them and it took him to an empty room full of benches, and a holographic woman standing at the front in front of a wall of screens depicting lush greenery on what he could assume was Homestead II. He looked around, feeling vaguely confused. Why weren’t there any other people around? Surely he wasn’t the only one in his group.

“Hello passengers, and welcome to Learning Group 15, your introduction to colonial life.” The holographic woman spoke, smiling around the room.

His brow creasing, Thomas raised his hand as the hologram continued speaking. “I think I’m in the wrong-”

The hologram put up a finger, “Please hold all questions until the end.”

Looking around, he shook his head, raising his hand tentatively again, then putting it down, chuckling out of confusion. “I-I’m sorry, where are all the other people?”

“We are all on the Starship Avalon.” The holographic woman replied with a wide smile.

“But I’m the only one here.”

“There are five-thousand passengers, and two-hundred and fifty-eight crew members aboard the Avalon.”

“So why am I alone?”

The Hologram spread her arms out as if encompassing everyone, “We are all in this together.”

No, no it wasn’t right. He wasn’t supposed to be here alone, surely all the other people just hadn’t woken up yet. Perhaps he was just a bit early. Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t seen any crew members either, and they were to have woken a few weeks before the passengers did, if his vague memory served him correctly. Stomach dropping, he backed out of the room, shouting as he ran down the halls. “Hello? Is anyone here? Can anyone hear me?”

Heart racing now, as the only voice he heard was his own echoed back to him, Thomas stopped in front of an elevator labelled Grand Concourse and got on. He sat, and the elevator started moving. A few moments into the ride, he was lifted out of his seat, weightless. Gasping, he reached out for something to steady himself. Grabbing onto a loose seatbelt, he now noticed why they were there. The elevator slowed a minute later, and the gravity returned, Thomas settling back into his seat only to stand up and rush out of the elevator as the doors opened.

He stepped out into what was indeed a grand concourse. It was a large room with a tall fountain that began flowing when he took a few more steps in. There were various benches to sit on, and information kiosks at various intervals around the room. Walking up to a kiosk, Thomas asked breathlessly, “Where is everyone?”

“Everyone is aboard the starship Avalon, en route to the colony home of Homestead II.” The AI kiosk replied cheerily.

“I know that,” he responded, voice tinged with frustration out of panic, “but where _are_ they all? Isn’t the crew awake?”

The kiosk repeated its answer.

“Is there a human I can speak to?”

“The Steward usually handles passenger affairs.”

“And where can I find the Steward?”

The AI gave him directions and he went up to the second level and found his way to the office easily enough, but he found it empty. He ran back down to the information kiosk.

“Where’s the captain, I need to speak to them.” Thomas said.

“The captain does not generally handle passenger-”

“It’s an emergency!”

“The captain and crew can be found on the bridge.”

Thomas got directions and went in search of the captain and crew. As he made his way through the ship, he listened intently for signs of anyone else but heard nothing save for his own footsteps and breathing. He reached the bridge with much anticipation, and scanned his ID badge, a smile almost tugging at his lips. He would talk to the captain and everything would-

_Access Denied: Insufficient Security Clearance._

He scanned his badge again, the faint smile falling from his lips as he peered into the small window on the door and saw multiple pods, all dark and sealed with the crew inside.

“This isn’t happening, it can’t be.” Thomas shook his head, backing away from the door and taking off down the corridor from which he had just come to find another kiosk.

“Is there a place I can see where we’re at in space?” He asked, approaching the first kiosk he could find.

“The observation deck has full mapping capabilities.”

“Great, where is it?”

Once he got directions, he was running again. Reaching the observation deck, he found a large room with windows showing the black expanse of space and immediately commanded to the room, “Show me Avalon in relation to Homestead II.”

A holographic image of the Avalon appeared, and then a trajectory line connected the ship and the image of the new planet. It seemed terribly far, but he didn’t want to assume anything. Hesitating before asking, and taking a steadying breath he asked, “How many years will it take to get to Homestead II from where the ship is now?”

His heart sank as the number was shown and the AI replied to him.

“The voyage will take approximately ninety years.”


	2. Chapter 2

Shaking his head, Thomas stumbled backwards whispering “No,” over and over. There was no way that was right – ninety _years?_ He and the other passengers were supposed to have woken up only four months before they were going to arrive on the Homestead II, not ninety years. He was awake so early that he’d be dead before they even arrived. . . and he’d be alone for the rest of his life. He couldn’t absorb it, there _had_ to be something he could do. 

Thoroughly panicked, he left the observation deck and went in search of a place to send a message. Perhaps sending a message to someone back on earth, telling them that his pod had malfunctioned, would prompt them to help him. He found yet another information kiosk and asked where he could send a message back to Earth. 

“Interstellar messages are sent by laser array. This is an expensive service.”

“I couldn’t care less.”

“What is your desired connection to Earth?”

“The Homestead Company, it’s an emergency.”

“I have a customer help line?” The kiosk suggested.

“Sounds about right.”

“Begin your message.”

Thomas took a steadying breath and began. “Hi, I’m Thomas Barrow, a passenger on the Avalon. I think. . . I think I woke up too soon. Something went wrong with my hibernation pod and now I’m awake. No one else is awake and I don’t know how to go back to sleep. And the issue is. . . there’s ninety years to go until we reach Homestead II so, ah, I’m trying to fix this. Maybe I missed something. I could use a hand. Thanks.” Sighing, Thomas nodded. “That’s all.”

“Message sent. Message will arrive in 19 years.”

Frowning, he blurted, “Wait, what?”

“Earliest reply in fifty-five years.”

“ _Fifty-five years_?!” Thomas yelled, arms gesturing frantically. He was going to be completely alone without help for fifty-five years?

“We apologize for the delay. That will be $6,012.”

He felt helpless, absolutely helpless. What was he meant to do? Alone, for ninety years. Living aboard this ship – albeit the most luxurious place he’d ever been – for the rest of his life. He wandered around the ship, eventually making his way back to the grand concourse, unsure of what to do. He headed up to the second level which presented itself as a sort of mall with restaurants, shops, bars. Walking past a few of the shops, all of which were lit welcomingly, Thomas stopped when he heard a voice. 

“Good afternoon.” A male voice spoke from inside a bar he had just passed. 

A man! Real live human man was behind the bar! Something like elation filled his chest and with a smile, he strode into the bar.

“I can’t believe it! It is so good to see another face. Thought I was the only one awake.” Thomas greeted with a relieved chuckle.

The man smiled at him while cleaning a glass with a rag, “Who wants to sleep on a beautiful day like this?” 

Walking over towards the bar, Thomas shook his head, “No, I mean we’re in trouble. We’re not supposed to be awake.”

“Well, I won’t tell if you don’t. Our little secret.” The man smiled conspiratorially. “What can I get for you?”

Brows furrowing, he tilted his head, “What?”

“You look like a beer man.”

“Alright.” Going to sit down at the bar, Thomas leaned forward and noticed something as the man moved to get his drink. The bartender wasn’t even a man at all. He was a robot, and only looked human from the waist up. Heart sinking, he sat down heavily. He was still alone. 

“You’re a robot.”

“Android, actually. Top of the line. The Homestead company spares no expense when it comes to their passengers. My name’s Carson.” The android set an opened beer in front of him and Thomas picked it up to take a drink.

“Yeah, right,” He scoffed. “So concerned about its passengers that it makes no provisions for when a hibernation pod malfunctions and one wakes up.”

“Hibernation pods don’t malfunction,” Carson said.

“Really? Let me ask you this then, when do we arrive at Homestead II?” Thomas asked, somewhat accusingly. As if it was this android’s fault he was awake. It felt good to have someone to blame, though. 

“In approximately ninety years.”

“And when are the passengers supposed to wake up?”

“When we are in our final arrival stages.”

“Then how am I awake?”

Carson cocked his head a moment, then responded. “It’s not possible for you to be here.”

“Here I am though.” He laughed wryly. “Here I am.”

Taking another swig of his drink, Thomas looked around the bar. The atmosphere was warm and inviting, with soft yellow tinted lights, and lush red carpeting that sat beneath several tables and chairs made of a dark wood. The bar was fully stocked, and Carson was once again cleaning a glass while looking cheerful. He looked so. . .so human. So long as he ignored the robotic base that moved him around much more smoothly than any human could walk. 

He felt comforted by his presence, though, even if he wasn’t human, so he stayed at for the better part of the rest of the day, grateful he had someone to talk to. After several hours and a few drinks later, Thomas finally decided to go back to his cabin. He was beginning to feel exhaustion from the panic and confusion of his new reality, and hoped perhaps after some sleep he would find something on the ship to help him. 

The door of his room slid silently open as he walked up to it, and after changing out of his clothes and falling into bed, he realized just how lonely the rest of his life was to be. And this was only day one of however many thousand more. He sighed and closed his eyes, hoping for sleep to consume his waking thoughts quickly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: Thoughts of suicide and descriptions of depression and anxiety.

“Good morning. It's a beautiful day here on the Avalon! So wake up, sunshine. It's time to relax and enjoy your stay.” 

Thomas woke to another peppy greeting and lay staring at the ceiling of his room gathering energy to face the day. His stomach was already rumbling, reminding him he hadn’t eaten yesterday. First goal of the day: find something to eat. He sat up, rubbing his face before standing and dressing. 

He made his way to the canteen and found large machines with pictures of different breakfast food and drinks in the center of an even larger room, surrounded by tables. He walked up to it, a wry thought crossing his mind. At least he didn’t have to wait in any lines. Perhaps it was him try to make the best of his shitty situation, but he chuckled anyway. 

“Please make a selection.” The screen lit up as he neared, showing twenty or so different breakfast options, and he pressed the selection for a large breakfast plate with pancakes, sausage, fruit, and orange juice. 

“Sorry. The Large Breakfast Plate is reserved for gold-class passengers.”

“Gotta be kidding me,” He mumbled, pressing the image again.

“Sorry. The Large Breakfast Plate is. . .”

“I want the Large Breakfast plate! Bill my room, please.” Thomas scoffed.

“Food can be purchased at the ship’s. . .”

“Fine.” Thomas pushed the next option down. 

“Sorry. The Waffle Plate. . .”

“Sorry. . . Sorry. . . Sorry. . .” He jabbed at each button, growing frustrated until he finally landed on something he was able to eat. 

“Pancake breakfast.” Well, it was _about time._ At least it wasn’t the absolute last option on the menu, plain oatmeal. 

“Please enjoy your breakfast.”

Thomas rolled his eyes, picking up the plate of two pancakes and a small pat of butter. He wouldn’t go hungry, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to enjoy eating two pancakes every day for eternity. He sat down at an empty table with his plate and began to eat. Two bites in he realized he hadn’t even been given any syrup. Fantastic.

* * *

After breakfast he made his way to the crew pod room. If he was going to try anything, he might as well try to get that door open and into the crew’s cabin and see if he could wake someone up who could help him. The room was protected by a thick, circular metal door with a small rectangular window through which he could see the sleeping crew. He would need some serious firepower to get that thing open. Remembering he’d seen on the various maps around the ship that there was a garage, he figured he could find some tools down there and put his mechanic abilities to use. 

He used the elevator, recalling the gravity loss from yesterday and put on a seat-belt before it started moving. Once down in the garage, he found a cart that reminded him of a golf cart, and got started down the long, long aisles between crates of storage, searching for the tools he’d need. About twenty minutes later, and many wrong turns, he finally found a storage pod labelled Engineering, and gathered everything he might need. 

He made his way back to the elevator and took several trips to get everything to the door, then picked up a sledgehammer, testing its weight in his hands before taking it to the door. He hit it over and over, screaming with the force of the blows, finding himself indescribably angry. “It’s. . . not. . . _fair!_ I can’t be stuck here! For the rest. . . of. . . my. . . life!” He yelled with each strike. Only after he was about to collapse and fighting for breath did he stop, tossing the sledgehammer aside and falling to the floor. He hadn’t even made a dent in the door, and it barely even had a scratch. What was this damn door _made_ of? 

Panting, he got back up, grabbing the nearest next tool – a blowtorch – and tried again. Once again it had no effect. 

An hour later, Thomas had given up. He’d dismantled the screen that denied his access due to security clearance, had tried to pry the metal paneling off the door, and had tried to smash the thick-paned glass window, all to no avail. There was no way he was getting through that door, and he was exhausted to boot. He made his way back to the bar and sagged into a barstool, looking up at the bartender. 

“I’m screwed, Carson, royally screwed.”

“Come on, now, every cloud has a silver lining.” Carson reassured, cleaning a glass steadily with a cloth.

“Not so sure about that,” Thomas shook his head, watching him clean the glass. “I’m your only customer, why are you always cleaning a glass?”

“Trick of the trade,” Carson answered, glancing at him. “Makes people nervous when bartenders just stand there.”

“Why don’t you lay some bartender wisdom on me. I’m lost in space here.”

“You’re not where you want to be. You feel like you’re supposed to be somewhere else.”

Thomas chuckled, “You said it.”

“Well, say you could snap your fingers and be wherever you wanted to be. I bet you'd still feel this way. Not in the right place. Point is, you can't get so hung up on where you'd rather be that you forget how to make the most of where you are.” Carson expanded, gliding towards him. 

“What’re you telling me?”

Carson set down the glass he’d been continuously polishing, “Take a break from focusing on what you can’t control. Live a little.” 

Nodding, Thomas mumbled an agreement under his breath. Right, he was stuck on the most luxurious craft he’d ever been on, full of some of the wealthiest people on earth, and it was entirely deserted. It was time he had a little fun, even completely alone. There was no reason for him to stay in the cramped cabin he’d been assigned when there was a whole ship of luxurious rooms he could be sleeping in.

He went to find a map of the ship, and made his way to the section of the ship for the wealthiest voyagers with a belt of tools around his waist. He walked past door after door, finding these doors labelled with names instead of numbers. He stopped in front of one of the doors that read: Vienna Suite. “That sounds nice,” He said to himself, as he took off his belt of tools and set to opening the door. After the struggle that was the attempt at opening the crews cabin door, opening this door took surprisingly little time. 

“Welcome to the Vienna Suite.” A warm voice greeted him when the door finally slid open. 

Stepping into the room, his jaw dropped at the sheer size of it. The room had a giant window on one wall, giving the most amazing view of space and the stars. The ground floor had its own lounge and dining room, furnished with the most luxurious furniture, very sleek and modern. Elegant, open stairs led upstairs to a bedroom. The whole area was entirely open, and Thomas could see out the window from the huge Alaskan king bed. One side of the upstairs wall had a holographic display, showing scenery of forests back on earth. This was the life! The bed alone was the size of his old room. Now this, he could get used to. 

After taking off his tool belt, Thomas flopped down onto the most comfortable bed he’d ever laid on and was asleep within minutes. When he woke, the lights in the room were dimmer, and after checking his watch, he realized he’d napped longer than planned and now he was _starving_. 

He made his way to the restaurant quarter of the ship and perused his options. He had his choice of just about any type of food from American, to Italian, to Chinese, to Mexican. 

“Good evening,” An android greeted when Thomas sat down in an Italian restaurant. “What can I get you?”

He quickly scanned the menu, “I’d like some red, and the fettuccine Alfredo.” He figured some wine wouldn’t hurt, and the dish sounded decadent. If he was going to _live a little_ like Carson said, he intended to have some fun. 

After dinner, Thomas explored the entertainment side of the ship and walked into a room at random. There was a basketball hoop at the end of the room, and lines depicting the court on the floor. He’d never played basketball a day in his life, but there was no one around to critique him, so he found a ball and gave it a shot for a while. The first shot he made he missed by a landslide, but the first time the ball went through the net, he grinned widely at the cheers that echoed around him from the computer program. Twenty minutes later he gave up, deciding to come back later and try again. 

He found another room at random and walked in. The room lit up once he stepped in, and a computer announced said, “Dance off.”

“Alright,” Thomas began to grin a bit, stepping onto the dance floor, which lit up beneath his feet as two holographic people appeared before him. The male character began to dance, then when he finished, made a motion for Thomas to move. He guessed he was supposed to copy what the hologram had done, so he did, laughing at himself and feeling ridiculous. He’d never be doing this if anyone else was around. 

“Game over, you failed to copy the movements correctly.” The computer said when he finished dancing.

“I did exactly what you just did!” Thomas retorted, chuckling breathlessly. 

He tried again, waving his arms and stepping to the beat like the holograms, but he never could match up to their rhythm. After about half an hour of dancing he finally called it quits and made his way back to the canteen and found something to drink. It was getting late, so he decided to head back to his room. On his way there, he passed a room he’d yet to see before. It was well lit with a couple of space suits in the middle of the room, and equipment lining the walls. 

Stepping into the room, a computer voice spoke. “Welcome, Thomas. Please turn your attention to the screens displaying safety tips. These spacesuits are designed to withstand the harsh environment of space. The carbon fiber and polyacrylamide construction mean your suit is both flexible and durable. Remember, your spacesuit is your lifeline.”

Mouth agape, Thomas walked around the room, brushing his fingers lightly over the space suit. He’d always wanted to go to space someday, and wear one of these suits. Indulging in his childhood dream, he stepped into the suit. It was heavy, but comfortable, and it felt safe.

He walked towards the door that led to the exit of the ship and when he stepped inside, the voice spoke again.

“Slide the handle on the right to release the air pressure.”

He did so, the pressure being released with a loud hiss and his boots magnetizing to the floor beneath him. 

“Your magnetic boots are now engaged. They can be deactivated using the control panel on your arm.” 

He looked down at his arm, checking the screen. Indeed there was a panel for him to press to deactivate his magnetic boots.

“Press the red button to open the airlock door. Have a wonderful time.”

Pressing the red button, the airlock door slid open and he stepped out onto the hull of the ship. He barely heard the computer tell him that his tether was attached as he looked up at the stars. At space. It was absolutely gorgeous. He had a 360-degree view of space and millions of stars that lined the sky. He’d never seen anything like it. If he looked hard enough, he swore he could see colors swirling in the nebula. Looking down for a moment, he pressed the panel on his arm to release the magnets of his boots and float into space. He was attached by the tether, so he felt safe. He felt feather light, and entirely minuscule surrounded by the universe. It was then he realized just how alone, and lonely, he was, and tears formed in his eyes, blurring the stars. The universe was so beautiful, but so, so vast, and he wished more than anything he had someone to share this moment with, not another android. 

Moving slowly, he gently turned and let himself float back to the ship, re-engaging his boots when he was near enough to step down. He stepped back inside the airlock, and the same woman computer voice greeted him. 

“Welcome back, Thomas. We hope you decide to join us again soon for another thrilling experience. Have a wonderful time.”

Making his way back to his room now, he walked slowly through the pod room, glancing around at various people. The thousands of sleeping people he was surrounded by made him feel even more alone as he knew he’d never get to talk to one, or touch one again. He gradually sped up until he was sprinting down the rows of hibernation pods. He was alone. 

Alone. 

_Alone._

* * *

Before he knew it, nearly a year had passed and Thomas had spent his time between eating at the many restaurants the ship had to offer, nightly hours at the bar talking to Carson and wishing he wasn’t stranded alone, and gaining skill at basketball and dancing until he was sick of everything. He’d had fun for about the first month, then he began to feel worse and worse about how he was stranded on a luxurious ship with everything he’d ever need except for one thing. Human connection. Now, he’d never been a very social man, but that didn’t mean he didn’t need to talk to someone, to hug someone, to feel the presence of another living, breathing person. 

After countless days alone with only an android to talk to, Thomas was feeling more hopeless than ever. He’d stopped shaving a month or so ago, and his usually well-kept appearance was traded for sweatpants and a shirt he never changed. He was beginning to feel like he was going crazy, talking to himself while exploring the ship just to hear a voice, and lying in an apathetic heap on his bed, alternating between not caring at all, and panicking at the thought of the rest of his life being spent like this. 

He awoke feeling particularly apathetic and fatigued one morning, unable to go find breakfast much less shower, when a morbid thought crossed his mind. Maybe he didn’t have to life out the rest of his life like this. Perhaps he didn’t have to live. . . at all. Oddly energized by that thought, he made his way through the ship to the space-walking room. He walked up to the space suit, staring at it for several long moments until he shifted his gaze to the airlock door. As if moving in slow motion, and not feeling entirely in control of his own movements, he walked towards the door and opened it, stepping into the corridor without a suit. He was welcomed cheerily, and guided through the motions of sliding the handle to release the air pressure and pressing the red button to open the door to the vastness of space. 

He stepped closer and closer to the handle, gently resting his hand on it. He was doing this, wasn’t he? It would be so easy to just – slide the handle and press the button. He would feel cold, but only for a second because then he’d be frozen, his heart no longer beating, and he’d just float into space, plagued by his situation and his thoughts no longer. Letting out a trembling breath, he slid down the handle. His fingers inched towards the red button and his face crumpled, heaving out a sob that echoed in the chamber. Did he really want to do this? 

Yes.

No.

 _Yes_.

 _NO_.

Spurred by a sudden, crushing panic at the decision he almost made, he thrust up the handle and tripped over himself in his need to get out of that room. _He couldn’t do it. He was alone. He’d be completely, absolutely, horridly alone forever. It was better than dying_. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him through the pod room, unable to breathe. Blinded by tears, he tripped over something he couldn’t see and fell hard to the ground. Curling up in a ball, he sobbed at the pain in his body, in his mind, and the fucked up situation he was stuck in. Trapped in a metal tomb rocketing through space for the rest of his life. The words death trap came to mean something different, just then. 

He was overwhelmed and at a loss at how to fix it, but eventually, he uncurled and sat up, wiping his tears away with his grimy t-shirt. Waiting until his unsteady breathing leveled out, he looked around. He was sitting next to a pod, and guessed he tripped on one of the feet holding it up. There was a plaque on the side of the pod that read:

_**Name:** Richard Ellis **Age:** 29  
**Occupation:** Master of the Royal Household_

Eyebrows raising in surprise, Thomas did a double take. The _royal household?_ As in the _Queen of England?_ He stood to peer into the pod at the man. Good _god_ was he handsome. He had light brown hair and seemed fairly tall, not to mention decently built.

“Richard.” Thomas tried the name out on his tongue softly. A ghost of a smile lit his lips. An elegant name for an elegant man.

Perhaps he wasn’t so alone after all.


	4. Chapter 4

“I wish there was a way I could learn more about him,” Thomas said to Carson, taking a sip of his drink. It had been a week since he had seen Richard asleep in his pod, and as had become his routine, he was talking to Carson about him. “He’s got quite the prestigious job, but I’d like to know his likes, and his hobbies.”

“Why don’t you look at his profile?” Carson suggested.

Looking up at the bartender, Thomas nodded slowly. “Hadn’t thought of that. . . where’d I find passenger profiles?” He remembered the profile he had to do before leaving, so surely Richard must have one as well. 

“They are available on any personal device. You have a tablet in your room, I believe?” 

Carson was right, he did. “You’re right. Thank you, Carson.” He gave him a half-smile and finished his drink, eager to look at Richard’s profile. 

He made his way up to his suite and reclined on the couch on the lower floor, picking up the tablet that had come with the room. After searching for a few minutes, he found him. He had made a video recording. 

“I’m Richard Ellis. Passenger two-thousand, five-hundred and thirty-eight. I'm a master of the royal household and writer. I think. . .I think we tell each other stories to know we're not alone, to make contact."

Thomas couldn’t believe it - his accent was the very same as his own. Perhaps he was from Yorkshire as well? His voice was smooth and warm, he sounded friendly. He was already good-looking, but now that he heard his voice, it made him even better. He was also someone he’d never be able to reach, however close he might be.

“. . .Your father was William Ellis, a Pulitzer Prize-winning author, yes?” There was a man behind the screen asking the question, the recorder and interviewer for their profiles. 

Richard smiled, chuckling, “No pressure, right?”

Thomas grinned, he was funny. 

"My father used to say, 'If you live an ordinary life, all you'll have are ordinary stories. You have to live a life of adventure.' So. . . here I am. We're starting over in every way. I'll have to figure out where to live, how to live, who my friends will be. It's like the first day of school. If the school bus took 120 years to get there. We're creating a culture..." 

Thomas listened to Richard talk until he found himself dozing, and reluctantly put the tablet down to go to bed. He could listen to him talk all night, but not if he was asleep.

* * *

“D’you ever read something and feel like it was written just for you?” Thomas asked Carson, the next evening at the bar. He’d found more of Richard’s videos and some of his work earlier that day, and had spent hours going through them. He had a busy, and important, job, but spent quite a bit of his time writing outside of that. He was into journalism and learning as much as he could about the world and the people in it.

“I don’t do a lot of reading.” Carson replied with a smile.

“He’s good.”

“Who’s that?”

“Richard.” 

“The sleeping man?”

Thomas nodded, then shrugged, “I’m not saying the universe is evil, but it does have a rather harsh sense of humor.” 

“How’s that?”

“I get to fly to another planet, but I’ll die along the way. I find the perfect man, but he’s entirely out of reach.” He sighed, running his fingers through his lengthening hair before drumming them anxiously on the bar he was leaning on. “I don’t know what to do.” 

To pass the days, and to keep him distracted from thinking of Richard, Thomas continued learning about how the hibernation pods worked. He’d started reading up on them months ago, thinking he could put himself back to sleep. He thought he’d figured it out, gotten it right, and had tried to put himself back asleep. He had climbed into the pod after triggering the mechanisms, and when it started to close, he felt hopeful, excited, but when the pod sealed shut with him inside and _awake_ , he was now too afraid to try again for fear of it trapping him again. 

He read manuals, watched informational videos in his assigned learning group room, and continued to enjoy luxurious meals in various restaurants even more acutely aware of how alone he was. He just couldn’t get Richard out of his head. 

“Is there anything you regret leaving behind?” The interviewer asked Richard. Thomas was watching more of his profile videos over breakfast some days later. 

“Not regret, exactly, but I’ll miss it most definitely. I’ll miss the trees in Leeds, my hometown in North Yorkshire, turning in the fall. I’ll also miss the crowds. . .”

The next night Thomas was talking with Carson during his nightly bar visit. “Say. . .say you were trapped on a desert island, and you had the power to wish somebody there with you. You wouldn't be alone anymore. But, you'd be stranding the person on the island. Would you make that wish?”

“I’ve never been on an island. I wouldn’t know.” Carson replied.

“Ah, right, well, forget the island then. Let’s say, you figured out how to make your life much, much better, but you knew it was wrong and there’d be no way to take it back. How d’you do the math?”

“These are not robot questions, Thomas.”

He huffed, nodding, then took a breath. “I know how to wake Richard up.”

“Well,” Carson smiled, “That sounds like a fine idea. You could use some company.”

“But the thing is, I’d be stranding him on this ship for the rest of his life.”

“Well, you can’t do that.”

“What am I going to do?” He asked, voice tinged with desperation. 

“I’m here for you.” Carson reassured, and Thomas rolled his eyes. 

“You’re a machine. You don’t have feelings. You wouldn’t even mind if I did this-” He leaned over the bar and slapped the android across his face. “’Cause you’re not even a person.”

Days turned into weeks, and Thomas struggled with his divisive thoughts. Back and forth, back and forth. Yes, he’d wake him up. No, he wouldn’t wake him up.

He debated out loud to Carson nightly, “No more Richard talk.”

“I'm over it.”

“I'm moving on.”

“Don't even think about it!”

“What am I going to do? I'm just going to sit and think about it? I can't think about it, so I'm not going to.”

“That's the deal. I've made my decision. I know what I'm doing. I just cut it off. I'm not. . no more.”

“You won't hear me bring up his name again. I'll never even _mention_ his name again.”

“Done.”

“You can't do it Thomas, you can’t.”

After weeks of agonizing over the decision, growing even more restless and lonely, and considering launching himself out of the space-walking room again, until he came to a decision. He knew it was wrong. So morally wrong, to wake someone up and doom them to a life like his. But he couldn’t _stand it_ any longer. He was on the verge of insanity or suicide and if he didn’t do something soon, he’d do something even more drastic. 

He was going to wake him up.


	5. Chapter 5

After deciding to shave his beard and trim his hair back to an acceptable length, Thomas gathered his tool belt and the hibernation pod manual the morning after he’d made his decision to wake Richard up. He was really doing this. He was desperate, he would go mad if he had to be alone any longer, even though he knew he was dooming him to a life like his own. Any sense of right and wrong had been erased from his mind. Determined, he made his way down to Richard’s pod, lips tightly pressed together, and brows furrowed as he kneeled next to it and set his tools down. He’d read the instruction manuals hundreds of times, so if he was going to do this, he was going to do it right. 

Reaching for a screwdriver, he lifted a side panel free that was covering the circuit boards. Slowly, with tweezers in hand, he pulled out the information card keeping Richard’s pod in cryogenic sleep and replaced it with one that would start the wake-up process. As soon as he pushed the board back into place, he regretted it. What had he just done? He had, essentially, killed him. But there was no time for Thomas to feel sorry for himself as Richard’s pod was beginning the process of waking him up. He had to get out of the pod room fast, if Richard knew Thomas had woken him up, he’d never be forgiven or have any sort of a chance. 

“ _Good morning, Richard.”_ His pod welcomed, just as Thomas’s had months ago. “ _How are you feeling?_ ” He watched, entranced, tools in hand, as Richard groaned in response to the question and blinked slowly. “ _It’s perfectly normal to feel confused, you’ve just spent. . ._ ”

By the time the pod finished speaking and Richard’s eyes were open, Thomas was running, nearly dropping his tools as he hurried away. Gasping, he tossed his tools onto the floor of his room and sat heavily onto the couch, head in his hands. He’d never felt so guilty, why’d he woken Richard? For all he knew, Richard could be straight and he’d have company for the rest of his life, but never able to be with him. He knew how Richard would feel by now, sick and dizzy, unbelievably tired, so he would wait until he had rested a bit before introducing himself. Thomas decided to rest a bit as well, even though it was only early afternoon, lying back on the couch and staring out the floor-to-ceiling window that gave him a front row seat to the stars. 

He wanted to be sure to be around when Richard was first exploring the ship, to try and lessen his confusion and provide a comforting presence. He knew how overwhelming it would be. He was wandering around the grand concourse idly when he heard an elevator announce, “Grand Concourse.”

Richard must be up and exploring.

“Hello? Anybody?” Richard called, desperation tinging his voice.

From behind the water fountain across the concourse, Richard appeared cautiously, looking around. “Hello,” Thomas answered, feeling a bit awkward. Richard turned and met his eyes and they seemed to penetrate Thomas’s soul, full of confusion and a million questions. He knew exactly how he felt. The fear in Richard’s eyes sent knives through his heart, nearly causing his eyes to fill with tears at the guilt that surged to the forefront of his emotions. This was his fault – Richard was awake because of him. But Richard didn’t know that, and he had to ensure his calm demeanor didn’t falter, to not add to Richard’s fear.

“Hi, ah, are you passenger or crew?” Richard asked, walking up to him.

“Passenger. I’m Thomas.”

“Richard. Do you know what’s going on? Nobody else from my row woke up.” 

“Same for me.”

“The crew’s supposed to wake up a month before we do, but I haven’t seen any."

“The crew is still asleep.” Thomas replied quietly.

“Are you saying no one else is awake?” Richard asked.

Thomas shook his head, “Just me.”

“Just you?”

“It’s just us.”

“But someone’s got to land the ship in a few weeks!” Richard looked confused. “Everyone else must be late waking up, we have to help them.”

Thomas shook his head again, “No, they aren’t late. We were early. Let me show you.” He led the way to the observation deck and asked for when they would arrive at Homestead II. 

A hologram of their trip from the Avalon to Homestead II filled the room, highlighting the rest of their journey. “We will arrive at Homestead II in eighty-nine years.” The program told them. 

Richard watched in confusion, “Eighty-nine. . . years?”

He nodded grimly. 

“We – we need help. Where’s the crew?” Richard was shaking his head and backing away from the hologram. He looked terrified. 

"The crew's in a secure hibernation room. Everything important, the controls, the reactors, the engines. . .it's all behind firewalls. There's no way through." Thomas led him to the bridge, to the door he’d spent countless hours trying to open. 

Richard looked through the small window as he spoke, then around at all the tools lying strewn about the corridor. “How long have you been awake?” He asked in a hushed, horrified tone. 

“A year and three weeks.” Thomas replied calmly but resigned. He could see Richard was beginning to panic. 

His breathing quickened, and he looked around, “No. No, no, no. No, this can’t be. We have to go back to sleep!” Stumbling around the tools on the ground, Richard ran away, searching desperately for the pod room. 

“Richard, we can’t.” Thomas called after him before following. 

“We just have to get back to our pods, and start them up again!” Richard gasped, sprinting through the doors to the pod room and searching for his. Thomas had never seen such panic as he saw displayed across Richard’s face. 

“I can’t find my pod. I can’t find my pod. I can’t find my pod!” Richard cried breathlessly. “I don’t know which. . .”

“It doesn’t matter.” Thomas’s words fell on deaf ears. Richard’s panic just seemed to be increasing. “Richard.” He said, almost at a whisper as the man now turned in circles. 

“I can’t find it.”

“Stop. Richard. . .”

“I can’t find which one is mine!” 

“I’ll help you just-” He reached for Richard’s arm, attempting to calm his frantic searching. 

“I can’t. . .”

"Stop!” Thomas grabbed him by the shoulders firmly, looking directly at him. “It doesn't matter.” Richard met his gaze and stopped struggling, and Thomas let go.

“Putting somebody into hibernation requires special equipment. Remember the facility where they put us under, all the procedures we went through? These pods are designed to keep us in hibernation, to wake us up at the right time, but they can't put us back to sleep." 

“You don’t think there’s a way to put us back into hibernation?” Richard asked, voice nearly trembling and look of extreme loss etched in his features.

“No.” 

“But there has to be. There _has_ to be.” Richard’s voice broke, and his eyes filled with tears that ran down his cheeks. Thomas didn’t know what to do when he sank to the floor, sobbing. He felt utterly grief-stricken for him, and ached with empathy. After a moment, Thomas decided to bend down and wrap his arms around Richard, whispering reassuring words while holding him tightly and trying not to cry at the sensation of hugging someone. Richard turned and leaned into him, crying into his shoulder. Thomas held him until gradually, Richard began to calm down and regain his composure. 

“I’m so sorry,” Richard said quietly once he had recovered, leaning away from him. 

“Don’t worry, I understand.” Thomas replied softly, letting his arms fall to his sides. “I know it isn’t much reassurance but trust me when I say I know just how you feel.” 

Richard attempted a smile, “Thank you, Thomas.” 

They settled into a brief yet comfortable silence. 

“I know I should be working the problem, but. . .I can’t seem to keep my eyes open.” Richard said.

“You just came out of hibernation. It’ll be a while before you’re back to one-hundred percent.” Thomas reassured. “You should get some rest. I’ll walk you to your cabin.” 

“No, it’s okay. I’ll be alright.” Richard stood, leaning on a pod for stability. 

“Okay.” Thomas stood as well and stepped back. “Goodnight, Richard.”

The other man looked at him, “More than a year? I can’t even imagine. That must have been extremely difficult for you.” 

It was,” Thomas replied, seriousness taking hold of his tone.

“Goodnight, Thomas.” Richard said softly, understandingly.

* * *

With Richard having gone back to his room, Thomas decided to go to the bar. The weight of what he had just done was finally sinking in. He’d just ruined Richard’s life, and yet being around him felt so right. It felt like he had found home. Of the many problems facing him now, one of them was whether Richard felt the same connection to him. 

“Whiskey, neat.” He rapped his knuckles on the bar as he slid into a seat.

“Sure thing. How has your day been?” Carson answered, smiling. 

“Richard’s awake.”

“Congratulations! But. . .you don’t look so happy.”

“Can you keep a secret, Carson?” 

“Thomas, I’m not just a bartender, I’m a gentleman.”

“Don’t tell Richard I woke him up. He thinks it was an accident. Let me tell him.” 

“Of course.” Carson smiled, handing him his drink. Thomas downed it in a single gulp. 

After a few more drinks, he decided to find some food. He hadn’t eaten breakfast, and now it was the late afternoon. He found something to eat, then wandered aimlessly around the ship, not wanting to go back to his room just yet. He ended up on the observation deck, watching the stars. 

“How’d I get into this mess, hm?” He asked the room quietly, talking to himself. He leaned forward, forearms resting on his knees, and stared hard at space. Millions of stars dotted the black ink that was space, and it was easy to get lost in the contrast between dark and light. Allowing his eyes to unfocus, he sighed. His stomach felt like the stars looked, swirling and confused. How had he allowed himself to wake someone else up and doom them to the same fate as his? How was that fair to Richard? It wasn’t. But if Thomas admitted it to himself, there was a small part of him that felt relieved to have someone else around him. He wasn’t entirely alone anymore. He’d gotten to feel another living, breathing person underneath his fingers, and his heartbeat in his chest. There was something about Richard that drew Thomas to him, but he knew that could all go very quickly wrong if he found out the truth of how he was woken up. 

Closing his eyes now, he rested his head in his hands, his mixed emotions battling for dominance within him. He supposed there was nothing to do now except spend time with Richard and enjoy the fact that he finally, _finally_ wasn’t alone any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are enjoying this story so far! I'd love to know what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a couple of POV changes from Thomas to Richard and back again. I don’t want to confuse anyone, so this is me letting y’all know! Also thank you guys so much for the comments and kudos, it's super motivational to keep writing and updating!

Thomas awoke from a deep sleep, taking a minute to regain his sense of awareness, then bolted upright in bed when he remembered the man he’d woken up from hibernation. The man whose life he had ruined. But the man who had also, unknowingly, saved Thomas’s life. Thinking back to yesterday while rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he recalled Richard’s breakdown and the feel of the man in his arms. He’d never felt more guilty nor more overjoyed than when he had hugged him. Yawning, he stood and walked to the bathroom, hoping a shower would help him feel better.

Thomas wandered to the canteen some twenty minutes later and found the rows and rows of tables and chairs empty – save for one. Normally seeing someone would have brightened his mood, especially as that someone was Richard, but seeing him slumped over his breakfast made his heart sink. Even looking so sullen, Thomas still thought he looked amazing. Richard raised his head as he approached, looking reassured. Thomas gave him a gentle smile, “Good morning.”

“Good morning.” Richard replied, sounding exhausted.

“Sleep well?” Thomas asked.

“Given everything, I could have slept worse. I wanted. . .I wanted to apologize for my emotional state yesterday. I should have waited until I was alone rather than trouble you with my own burdens. You have enough to worry about.” Richard said, meeting his eyes and sounding sincere. 

“No need to apologize, none at all,” Thomas replied, sliding into a seat across from the him. “It wasn’t my intent to break the news that you were stuck on this ship for the rest of your life so harshly. Welcome to the trip, I suppose.” 

Richard chuckled and reached for his fork to stab a piece of fruit on his plate.

“You’re a gold-class passenger?” Thomas asked, taking in his plate full of pancakes, sausage, fruit, and more. 

“Yes.” Richard smiled. “Are you?”

“The large breakfast plate is above my pay-grade, I’m afraid.” Thomas shrugged, somewhat self-consciously. He stood and walked to the machine, selecting his usual plate of two pancakes with butter and no syrup. When he sat back down, he noticed Richard shaking his head. 

“Do you want something? I’ll get you anything.” He offered.

“No, no. I’m fine.” Thomas refused. 

“Stop, there’s no way you possibly _enjoy_ two pancakes without syrup.”

Looking up from his plate, he saw Richard give him a small grin. Unable to resist grinning back he chuckled, “It’s horrid. Are you sure? I don’t want to impos-”

“Nonsense. What do you want?” The man was beginning to stand, waiting for his response. 

“What you’ve got looks delicious.” Thomas answered, a bit begrudgingly. 

“Here you are,” Richard handed him the Large Breakfast Plate he’d been wanting since day one on the cursed ship, and Thomas had never felt more grateful to the man sitting across from him. Once Richard sat back down, he leaned forward a bit and asked, “How can there be no way to put someone back into hibernation? What if a pod breaks down?”

“‘No hibernation pods have broken down in thousands of interstellar flights’.” Thomas answered, quoting the answer he’d been given over and over through months of asking the same question. 

“Well, I’m awake. And so are you.” 

“I’ve been through this thought process millions of times, Richard. Hibernation pods are ‘fail safe’.” He raised his hands to add air quotes, then took another bite of his delicious hot breakfast. “There’s no answer to how they broke down because they _aren’t supposed to break down_ , so there is no answer for how to fix them.” 

“So maybe there’s another way to get back to sleep.” Richard proposed. “What about the infirmary?” 

“I looked at that. It’s just scanners and an Autodoc.” Thomas replied.

“There could be another hibernation pod in the cargo hold.”

“I had thought that, too. Until I read the manifest. It’s mostly farming stuff, machines, and trading goods. Replacement parts for computers and engineering. We aren’t going to find a hibernation facility in a box." 

“We could build our own.” Richard said, desperation creeping into his voice.

“We can’t.”

“Thomas, you’re not even trying!” 

“I have tried everything.” Thomas set his fork down. “For over a year I tried. . .I tried everything.”

“Well, I’m not ready to give up.” Richard said, sounding resolved. 

They ate in silence after that, finishing their breakfasts. Richard finished first, but didn’t get up. Was he waiting for him? Thomas wondered, taking the last few bites of his pancakes and the last swallow of his orange juice. 

Once Thomas had finished eating, Richard stood. “You know the way to the infirmary, right? Could you show me the way?” 

“Of course,” Thomas agreed, standing as well. He might have already tried everything to get back to sleep, but Richard was a different person. Perhaps he could find something he hadn’t thought of. He led the way through the ship, across the grand concourse and up the elevator, through corridor until they entered the infirmary. 

“Infirmary.” The door announced as they walked in. Thomas noticed Richard’s eyes go wide as he looked around at all the equipment. 

“What about research articles? Any kind of technical documents about the pods?” Richard asked.

“Hibernation technology is proprietary, only the captain can gain access.” Thomas said, gaze following as Richard walked to the computer along one of the walls of the room. 

Not willing to give up, he typed various searches into the search bar, the computer replying with: _Access Denied: Insufficient Security Clearance._ After a few minutes of failed searches, Richard sighed and stood, looking defeated. “I think I’ll explore the rest of the ship a bit, let everything sink in, if that’s alright.” He said, walking towards Thomas. 

“Of course. I’ll see you later. Hopefully I’ll be able to find you again, you know, with all these people around.” Thomas replied, attempting a joke and grinning somewhat abashedly. 

Richard grinned back, chuckling. Thomas found he rather enjoyed seeing him smile. Perhaps too much, as his stomach twinged with what could only be butterflies as Richard stepped closer. 

“It’s, ah, really nice to make a friend in this brave new world we’re going into.”

Thomas smiled, “Yeah.” He led the way out of the infirmary and Richard followed.

“I’ll see you later, Thomas.” With a wave, Richard walked down the corridor.

* * *

Richard settled into his room. After some time exploring the ship, he had gotten tired and headed back to rest. After searching his room, he found there was a tablet for him to use, and decided to record what was happening to him. Partly for others to listen to what he had to say long after he was gone, but also for his own sake, to get out all the words and emotions coiled up inside him like a spring. Leaning back on the plush pillows of his large bed, he opened a document and began speaking, knowing it would translate his words onto the page. “I boarded the Avalon with an idea, a destination. Both now out of reach. I've been awake for seven days. Awake far too soon. And I may well spend the rest of my life here, in a steel world a thousand meters long. There's another passenger awake, a mechanic Thomas Barrow. He seems to have accepted our fate, but I'm frightened. I'm fighting to stay calm. All the other passengers will sleep for another 90 years while I live out my life on this ship, traveling forever, never arriving. . .my only companion a total stranger.” 

Sighing, he looked out at the expanse of stars from his floor-to-ceiling window, then picked up his tablet and walked out of his room, heading back to where he had been earlier that day – the observation deck. Sitting on the tiered rows, he leaned back and watched the stars. There were so many more he could see out here than back on Earth. On Earth, there was much more space between the stars. But out here, the stars seemed to blanket the sky, looking as if there were hardly enough room for them all. He knew why he was here, he was here to explore the new colony and record what life would be like on Homestead II. What he didn’t know was why his pod had malfunctioned eighty-nine years early, so he’d never be able to do what he set out to. He had so many questions, all of them feeling unanswerable. At least he wasn’t stuck here alone, like Thomas had been. He couldn’t fathom what that must have been like, and was glad he didn’t have to. He rather enjoyed Thomas’s company, and was glad to have him.

* * *

The next day, Thomas found himself in the brightly lit canteen after lunch, tinkering on one of the cleaning robots that had broken down. He looked up as Richard walked up to him and sat across the table, looking at the parts and tools spread across it as well as a tablet with blueprints of the robot. 

“So, you’re a mechanic?” Richard asked.

“Of sorts,” Thomas answered. “I worked for Rolex as a watchmaker. My father was a clock-maker, so I picked up the trade in my own way. I also picked up some other parts of the mechanics trade along the way.”

He noticed Richard glance down at his wrist and nod slightly to himself, as if he understood his watch now. “I figured since you tried to open the crew’s door through the entry panel after hitting it with a hammer didn’t work. And now this, of course.” An eyebrow quirked up and Thomas fought down a blush as Richard flashed a cheeky grin his way. 

“Clever,” He chuckled, setting down the pliers he was working with. “And you? What did you do back on Earth?”

“Master of the Royal Household.” Richard replied.

“Is that so?”

“I run the downstairs of Her Majesty’s household, yes.” 

“Sounds like a lot of work.”

“It is, but I enjoy it. I’m also somewhat of a journalist.”

For the next hour they settled into a comfortable conversation of getting to know each other, enjoying the afternoon. Then, Richard asked abruptly, “Why did you do it?”

For a moment, Thomas was panic-stricken. “Do what?” He asked, his face a mask of casual curiosity while inside his stomach had turned to lead and his heart-rate had tripled. There was no way he could know that he’d woken him up, could he? 

“Emigrate. Leave Earth. I’m interviewing you.” 

At once, Thomas relaxed, then his brows creased. “You’re what?”

“You were the first hibernation failure in the history of space travel. That makes you a story.” 

“Who’s there to tell?”

“Posterity.” Richard shrugged, smiling. “So, why’d you give up your life on Earth? One-hundred-and twenty-year space hibernation means you'll never see your family or friends again. You'll wake up in a new century, on a new planet. It's the ultimate geographical suicide.”

“Well, I could ask you the same thing.”

“But it’s my interview.” Richard retaliated with a slightly smirk. Thomas found it quite attractive. “Were you running from something?”

“No, everything was alright.”

“So?” He prompted.

“I suppose I just wanted a new world – I don’t know, a fresh start.” Thomas shrugged.

“That’s Homestead Company advertising.” 

“Is it?” Thomas grinned, cocking his head to the side slightly and raising an eyebrow. 

Richard shook his head, laughing. 

“I know. I guess you’re right. Back on Earth, when something breaks you don’t fix it, you replace it. The colonies, they have a problem to solve and they’re my kind of problems. A mechanic is somebody new in this world – Everything is something new in this world and things will need fixing. I could build a house a live in it. Open country. Room to grow.”

“Now you’re back to slogans.” Richard chuckled.

“Can’t slogans be true?”

“Do you know how much Homestead Company made off its first planet? Eight quadrillion dollars. That's eight _million billions_. Colony planets are the biggest business going. Did you pay full price for your ticket?”

“No, I’m in a desirable trade.” Thomas shook his head.

“So, they fill your head with dreams, discount your ticket, and you fly off to populate their planet and give Homestead twenty percent of everything that you make for the rest of your life. Not to mention the debt you run up on this fancy starship.” 

“So, all you see here is five thousand suckers?” 

“I see zeros, on the Homestead Company’s bottom line.”

“Well, I see five thousand people changing their lives for five thousand different reasons. You don’t know these people.” Thomas said, meeting Richard’s gaze. 

“I’m a journalist. I know people.” Richard sounded certain. 

“Really? You think you know people, hm?” Thomas asked, raising an eyebrow exaggeratedly. 

“Yes. It’s part of my job, Mr. Barrow.” Richard teased in return. 

“Why don’t we see about that, shall we?” Thomas stood, reaching out his hand. Richard took it and the two of them made their way to the pod room, half jogging. When they got there, Thomas slowed, but neither of them released the other from their grip. Slowly, they walked through the sections of pods, Thomas gazing at each person intently until he found someone. He brought Richard to a halt next to a middle-aged man, releasing his hand to cover the identification plaque on the side of the pod. 

“Alright then, let’s see how good you really are. This man right here. Is he a banker, teacher, or gardener?” Thomas asked.

“Banker.” Richard answered with absolute certainty. 

“Afraid not. He’s a gardener.” Thomas chuckled, grin widening with amusement. 

“What about her?” Thomas pointed to the woman in the next pod over, hurrying to cover the plaque. “Is she a. . . Madison, Donna, or Lola?” 

“Donna is far too serious for that hair. Lola. Absolutely.” Richard nodded to solidify his choice. 

“Madison.” Thomas smirked.

“ _Shit!_ ” Richard swore, laughing. 

“Language, Mr. Ellis!” He admonished with a laugh. 

“Alright,” Thomas pointed to another pod holding a woman. “Chef, accountant, or midwife?” 

Richard looked at the woman, then back at him, “She must be a midwife. There’s no way you made that up.” 

“You’re right. She’s a midwife.” He nodded, smiling at him. Thomas looked down at the woman sleeping in the pod, “Didn’t know they still had midwives.” 

Richard stood next to him, also looking at the midwife. “I like her. We’d be friends.”

“You think you can see that?” He asked, looking up. 

Richard turned to meet his gaze, nodding, “I do. Don’t you?” He looked back down at the woman, but Thomas’s gaze stayed on the man standing beside him. 

He let out a slow breath, a ghost of a smile on his lips as he nodded slightly. “I do.”


	7. Chapter 7

“A round trip ticket.” Thomas confirmed, eyebrows raising.

“That’s right,” Richard nodded, taking a sip of his coffee before setting it down. They were sitting in the comfortable tiered seats of the Observation deck some days later, enjoying a snack and a drink. “I was going to fly to Homestead II, live for a year, then go back to Earth.”

“But I don’t get it – I left earth for a new life, but you end up back where you started?” Thomas asked.

“I end up in the future. Two-hundred and fifty years in the future.” Richard sounded excited. “On Earth, which is still the center of civilization like it or not, I’ll be the only person in the world to ever travel to a colony world and come back. I’ll have a story no one else can tell.”

“What story?” 

“Humanity’s. . .flight to the stars!” He gestured around him before landing back in his lap. “The greatest migration in human history, it’s. . .the biggest story there is.”

“But you wouldn’t know any of the people who’d be reading it.” Thomas pointed out, smiling. He was enjoying seeing Richard so excited and enthusiastic.

“But they’d be reading it.” Richard replied, a widening smile growing on his face. “Or they would have been. . .” The smile fell from his face, his gaze dropping downwards, “I’ll never write it now. I don’t know if I’ll ever write again.” He paused, looking out at the stars before continuing. “Thomas, I don’t even know what else to try, to save us. To be honest I don’t even want to think about it anymore.” 

Guilt lapped at Thomas’s stomach and he too, looked down, at his half-finished piece of toast and mug of tea, unsure of what to say. 

“What is there to do around here, anyway?” Richard sounded slightly more upbeat than he had a moment ago, a smile reappearing on his face.

* * *

“Are you serious?” Richard asked, crossing his arms as they stood in front of the dance floor. The far wall was entirely filled with high scores of Thomas’s doing, and an upbeat song began to play. 

“Dead serious.” Thomas grinned, stepping up onto the stage. 

“ _PARTNER MODE._ ” The room announced in a dramatic fashion as he turned, gesturing for Richard to join him. 

When Richard reluctantly joined him on the dance floor, Thomas explained, “You just stand here, and copy what they do.” He watched the hologram in front of him dance, then copied the movements, noticing Richard looking at him, hands on his hips, clearly not having any of it. He felt self-conscious underneath the other mans stare, recalling how, when he'd first woken up and found this game, he would have never danced in front of anyone.

“Is there _anything_ else we can do?” Richard asked, watching the hologram in front of him dance after Thomas finished. 

He gestured toward the hologram, scoffing. “Just follow the-”

“Okay! Okay,”

“You don’t have to!” Thomas quickly amended, still grinning, as Richard attempted to follow the hologram with minimal success. 

“ _BEAT DOWN_.” The room announced when he finished, and Richard looked around. 

“Hey!” He sounded personally offended, and Thomas laughed.

Thomas then led Richard to the basketball court, taking a ball from the rack by the door and dribbling it. “Ready to lose?” He taunted.

“I think you should be the one worried, Mr. Barrow.” Richard smirked, rushing in suddenly to steal the ball before Thomas could even blink. 

“Hey!” He ran after Richard and tried to block him, but Richard made a basket before he could do much. He may have had over a year to practice by himself, but playing with another person was a different story – and it was obvious Richard knew what he was doing. 

Thomas started with the ball again and made a shot, sinking it through the hoop only for Richard to steal it back again with a teasing laugh. Back and forth they went, both of them gaining points and bantering. When they were both around twenty points, Richard had the ball and Thomas was intent on blocking him. Grinning, Richard feigned to go one way and instead went the other and made a shot – making the basket from the two-point line. 

“Why’re you smiling like that?” 

“Because I’m up two points,” Richard whole face had lit up with a satisfactory smile that had him glowing, and while Thomas was already out of breath, seeing him beam like that had him breathless for an entirely different reason.

* * *

After a day of more games, and a movie to round off the evening, Thomas suggested they go to his favorite bar. Richard had yet to go there, and it seemed like a fine time to introduce him to Carson.

“Who’s the handsome fellow?” Carson asked as they sat down. 

“This is Richard.” Thomas answered, full of pride. 

“Richard. A pleasure.” Carson smiled, extending a hand for him to shake. 

The three of them fell into a comfortable conversation, and sometime later Thomas found himself reminiscing on his year alone on the ship. “. . . and I didn’t wear pants for a month!”

“Seven weeks and two days, to be exact.” Carson said with a grin as Richard laughed. “The man has no shame.” 

“Well, you’re a tad bit lacking in that area yourself, Carson.” Richard joked back, having realized that Carson was an android and only looked human from the waist up. 

“I laughed at the man with no pants, until I realized I have no legs.” Carson replied, the three of them laughing. 

“For a moment I almost forgot my life was in ruins.” Richard sighed, suddenly somber. 

“I’m sorry,” Thomas said softly, feeling that all too familiar guilt come creeping back up his spine. He reached for Richard’s hand to give him a reassuring touch, but stopped halfway there, resting his hand on the bar between them instead, suddenly anxious.

“What for?” Richard looked at him, giving him a reassuring smile and closing the gap between their hands. “I’m going to head to bed. Good night.” He squeezed his hand once, then let go, and Thomas swore he could feel electricity between their touch. 

“Good night,” Thomas watched as Richard slid off the stool and walked out of the bar. 

Once he was out of earshot, he saw Carson lean a bit closer to him and smile. “He is wonderful. Excellent choice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was a bit short, but I promise the next chapter will more than make up for it! 
> 
> Also, bit of a poll here. The next chapter may include mature content. Let me know in the comments if you want me to include the explicit version, or the T-rated version. I can always include the E-rated version as a bonus chapter later so that those of you who don’t want to read it don’t have to, but those of you that do, can. Let me know which version y’all want!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A warning: the end of this chapter contains smut. Y'all asked for it, so here it is. Hope you enjoy!

Thomas and Richard quickly settled into a routine. Richard would get up early and go for a jog around the ship, then take a dip in the Avalon’s pool. Thomas would sleep longer into the morning and meet Richard for breakfast in the canteen. They would, more often than not, spend the days with each other. Sometimes simply having fun, and other times each working on their own things in the same room. One day Richard found a side of the ship Thomas had yet to find, and they spent the day exploring the animal bay. 

Thomas noticed on the days they spent together, that there seemed to be more. . .tension that grew slowly between them every day. He knew how he felt, obviously, but figuring out what Richard was feeling was a bit tougher. He was usually the one to make the first move, not much for stewing in his emotions and acting on them instead, but it felt different with Richard. He was slowly becoming more and more attracted to everything about the man – from the way he laughed, to the way he saw the world. They seemed to click and fit into each other’s lives seamlessly. Thus, if he made a move and Richard turned him down, it would be extremely awkward. He didn’t want to ruin his relationship with the only companion he had for the rest of his life. However, he’d been noticing Richard giving him more lingering glances, reaching out to touch him with little reason, and had been making more suggestive remarks. It was driving Thomas mad, and he had to do something about it. 

Thomas took up a new project as the weeks turned into months and their relationship continued to develop. He’d decided to reprogram one of the cleaning bots. The little robots would zoom about every inch of the ship, making sure it was impossibly clean. However, just as Thomas had noticed several months before, another one had broken down. He noticed that instead of the cleaner-bot gliding into the port in the wall, it was repeatedly ramming into the opposite wall. After fixing its issues, he figured out how to reprogram the sensor into a camera that he could see out of from his tablet, and control it with a remote. 

At the same time, he was also working on a gift for Richard, something to help him feel even more at home and comfortable. One of the reasons he slept in so late, unbeknownst to Richard, was because he was up late working on his gift. He was building a model of the Big Ben clock tower, recalling in one of his interviews that Thomas watched Richard had mentioned how if he had a view of Big Ben and some coffee, he could write all day. 

Once the model was finished, Thomas decided to put it in the observation deck one morning for Richard to find, as that was where he spent most of his late mornings after breakfast. He left it on a small tray with a mug of coffee, feeling satisfied he’d be able to make Richard smile.

* * *

Several more days passed until Thomas finished working on the reformed cleaner-bot, and then a few more for him to work up the courage to send it out into the ship to Richard. One calm morning he decided to bite the bullet and go for it. After all, what was the worst that could happen? Whenever Richard’s fingers would graze his, or his glance would linger a little longer than necessary, Thomas felt a rush of affection and nerves like he’d never felt before. It would most certainly be worth the risk. 

He wrote a note asking, “Dinner tonight?” and signed his name, handing it to the robot with a pen and tucking it away to its compartments. He then controlled the bot until he found Richard – in the observation deck with a mug of either coffee or tea cupped in his hands. 

“Oh, hello,” Richard turned and greeted the bot with a smile as it approached. 

“Hi,” Thomas replied from his lab, even though he wouldn’t be able to hear him. 

“Here you go.” He said again to the computer screen, typing a command into the keyboard and prompting the bot to extend the note towards Richard.

Richard reached out and took the note, unfolding it excruciatingly slowly. As he read the message, a smile bloomed again on the handsome man’s face and Thomas felt his own lips grin of their own accord from watching his reaction. His heart was racing – he may have just ruined everything, but something told him he hadn’t.

“Is he asking me on a date?” Richard asked the bot teasingly.

Thomas moved the joystick in an attempt to make the camera head nod.

“Do you need a pen?” He asked the screen, typing another command and the bot extending a pen for him to write his answer. 

Hiding his answer from the bot’s camera, Richard wrote on the note, then handed the folded piece of paper back to the robot.

“He didn’t seem that impressed.” Thomas sighed, maneuvering the bot away from Richard and back across the ship to his lab. He was nearly unable to stand the suspense that came from waiting to see what his reply was, and eagerly unfolded the note when his bot came back to him. 

He let out a bated breath when he saw the reply. ‘Love to. ~R’ was written in Richard’s handsome cursive.

“Love to,” Thomas told the bot, “He wrote: ‘Love to.’” He smiled, folding the note closed again and setting it down. He was overjoyed, unable to express his relief at not having ruined his companionship with Richard.

The two men did not see each other for the rest of the day, which was perfectly fine with Thomas, as he was nervously deciding which shirt should go under the blazer of his new suit. 

That evening, Thomas made his way to Richard’s room, scanning his wrist towards the door. 

He heard a muffled announcement of his arrival from the other side of the door. “You have a visitor.” The door slid open a moment later and revealed Richard walking around the corner and towards him, adjusting his jacket. He wore a dark maroon suit and black shoes, his hair styled lightly with some gel.

Thomas was unable to stop himself from whispering, “Wow,” under his breath as he walked towards him. He hoped Richard hadn’t heard as he closed his gaping jaw to smile. 

“You clean up pretty well yourself,” Richard said, looking him up and down appreciatively. “You went shopping.” 

“I went shop _lifting_.” Thomas corrected with a smirk.

Richard chuckled.

Thomas nodded slightly towards the direction of the grand concourse down the corridor, and they made their way to their favorite bar.

“Evening. What can I get you?” Carson asked when they reached the bar. 

“A Manhattan, please.” Richard said. 

“Ah, whiskey. Rocks.” Thomas said, sitting on the bar seat beside his date. 

Carson glided back with their drinks, remarking, “You two look find this evening.”

“Thank you, Carson,” Richard replied. “We’re on a date.”

The android’s gaze flickered between both of them, a small smile on his lips, “Very nice.”

“Took you long enough to ask.” Richard teased lightly, looking at Thomas.

“I was giving you space.” He replied quietly, feeling a bit abashed. 

“Oh. Space.” Richard rolled his eyes dramatically, leaning on the bar. “One thing I do not need more of.”

Thomas chuckled, smiling.

* * *

The robot cleared their plates, having just finished a delicious meal at one of the finer Italian restaurants on the ship. “ _Grazie_.” It said, gliding away. 

“That was absolutely delicious.” Richard said, taking a sip of his glass of wine.

“I know, it wasn’t easy getting a reservation.” Thomas bantered.

“They’re probably going to want us to give up our table. I’m getting a lot of dirty looks.” Richard glanced around the empty room. 

“Probably, it’s very popular tonight.” Thomas agreed, feigning seriousness, and Richard laughed. “So, how’s your book coming?”

“I don’t really know what it is yet.” Richard fiddled with the stem of his wine glass for a moment, then leaned forward, forearms resting on the table. “My father used to always write about his life, but he had stories he. . .sailed around Antarctica, he was a war reporter, had lovers, wrote about his son. . .” 

Thomas raised his eyebrows, “He wrote about you?”

Nodding, Richard said, “Yeah, I grew up reading about myself in his books.”

“How was that?” Thomas was genuinely interested now, always eager to learn more about Richard and the life he left behind. 

“Not always easy,” Richard said after taking another sip of his wine. “A little more than you wanted to know about yourself. And then when I was seventeen, he. . .” He shrugged, looking down at the table, “Had a heart attack. Right at his keypad. End of story.” 

Richard trailed off and they were both silent for a moment, until Richard smiled a bit. “That was so serious, I’m sorry.” His gaze lifted to meet Thomas’s, then out to the room. “We need more wine.”

“I like hearing about your life.” Thomas said softly, his words bringing Richard’s gaze back to his.

Richard smiled warmly, “Thanks,” He whispered sincerely.

* * *

“What are we doing?” Richard asked as they now strolled through the hibernation pod hall.

“You’ll see,” Thomas replied conspiratorially. “Best show in town.” He tapped the pad to open the doors that led into the space-walking room. Gesturing for Richard to walk in, he followed. 

“So you’ve. . .done this before?” Richard sounded hesitant as Thomas walked confidently towards the spacesuit and put it on.

“Oh, yeah.”

“And it’s safe?”

“No,” Thomas shook his head, voice deepening for dramatic effect. Richard made a sound between a gasp and a laugh, and Thomas smiled. “Reasonably safe.” He turned and pressed a panel on the wall that released what would be Richard’s spacesuit. 

“Hop in, you’re next.” 

Once both were suited up, Thomas led them through the procedure of getting outside, and watched as Richard followed him through the open door. 

He looked reverently up at the stars as his tether attached and boots sealed magnetically to the hull. He could feel the awe and amazement in Richard’s expression as they walked slowly towards the edge of the platform. Standing next to each other, staring at the stars, Thomas felt nearly overwhelmed with a sense of contentment. He reached for Richard’s gloved hand, letting out a breath as their hands clasped and Richard looked over at him with a smile. 

He turned to face Richard, lifting his arm to press the panel to turn off the magnets on his boots. Richard’s face fell, transforming into a mixture of confusion and fear. 

“What are you doing?”

“Do you trust me?” Thomas asked sincerely, meeting his gaze directly.

After a moment of hesitation, Richard nodded, a slow smile forming back on his lips.

Thomas looked down, and turned off the other man’s magnets as well, and ever so gently pushed off the hull of the ship, his hands clasped to Richards. Richard’s expressions went from a slight anxiousness, to joyousness, to amazement, as he looked around at the three-hundred and sixty view of the universe. 

The weightlessness propelled them slowly to the end of their tethers, and Thomas let go of one of Richard’s hands so they could both look out over the expanse of the galaxy. Both silent for several moments, Thomas recalled his first time in a spacesuit out there, and the sheer _enormity_ of it all was overwhelming, adding to that the fact that he’d had no one at the time. But now here he was, sharing this immense wonder with someone else, getting to see it through their eyes as well as his own. He wasn’t alone anymore, and that thought alone was more comforting than he could have ever imagined. 

“Thank you.” Richard whispered, breaking the silence as he turned towards him, breaking Thomas out of his thoughts. He sounded on the verge of tears, but overwhelmingly grateful. This experience and the sheer beauty in it had shaken him, it was all too much to take in. Thomas’s heart felt fuller than it ever had before.

“You’re welcome.” 

Richard’s gaze flickered down to his lips once, twice, and Thomas found his gaze following suit. The tension grew between them, and as they began to make their way back to the Avalon, all Thomas could think about was kissing the man beside him. Among. . .other things. 

Once back inside, Thomas took off his helmet as Richard did the same, and as if of one mind, leaned forward, closer to each other. Thomas reached up, cupping Richard’s chin with one hand, thumb stroking his cheek gently. The gap closed between them and Thomas’s breath hitched as their lips nearly brushed – until their spacesuits collided and both realized they couldn’t get any closer. He tried again, but the large suits merely bumped together again and bounced away. Thomas let out a breathless chuckle and Richard laughed as Thomas stepped back to step out of his suit. The moment both men were out of their spacesuits, Thomas was pulling Richard close, heart racing as he finally, _finally_ kissed him with the utter abandon he’d been wanting to do for months now, the kiss full of the love that had been building between them. Richard pulled him closer and opened his mouth, deepening the kiss until Thomas pulled away, breathless. He took Richard by the hand, giving him a smile, and leading him to his room. 

Entering his room, he and Richard walked up the stairs towards his bed hand in hand. Up on the platform, Thomas turned to see Richard already reaching for him, pulling him in eagerly for another kiss as he began to push his suit jacket off his shoulders. Thomas began shedding his own clothing, unbuttoning his shirt and undoing his trousers between gasping kisses until Thomas pushed Richard back onto his bed, both stripped down save for one item of clothing each. 

“Thomas -” Richard gasped as he kissed him, pulling away slightly. “It’s been. . .quite a while since I’ve. . .”

“Me too,” Thomas whispered, looking down at the beautiful man beneath him, both of their chests already heaving. “We’ll take it slow as we need, alright?” 

Richard nodded, a slight smile forming before Thomas was pulled into another long, deep kiss full of attraction and lust. Richard took Thomas’s bottom lip between his teeth and bit gently, causing Thomas to release a moan, which only fueled the burning of lust at his core. They developed a rhythm almost immediately, hands exploring new territory, testing to see what each other liked. 

Thomas let his hands roam from Richard’s hair down his chest, to the waistband of his pants, knowing Richard was just as frustrated as he by the cloth barrier between them. He felt heard Richard gasp as his hand slid beneath the waistband, then moan as Thomas began stroking his rock-hard erection. Thomas groaned as Richard returned the favor, entirely shoving off his pants before gripping him. 

“Oh, _Thomas,_ ” Richard moaned into his neck, his hips grinding against his body as his hand stroked him between them. Thomas made some incoherent noise in response as Richard bit at his neck, stroking ever so expertly at his cock. 

“ _Fuck_ -” Thomas gasped, minutes later feeling about ready to be sent careening over the edge. Richard’s lips met his again, deep, messy kisses until Thomas moaned, tensing up and shoving his hips hard against Richard. “I’m gonna-” 

“Me t-” Richard began, but broke off, moaning. “Yes, _yes_ Thomas just like - oh. . . oh god-” Richard shuddered against him, gasping as he came, and Thomas came just as explosively, his fingers sliding off Richard’s cock and around to his back as they both relaxed, breathless and satisfied.

He looked down at Richard and smiled, sliding sideways to lie next to him, allowing him to be pulled closer and their legs to intertwine as their breathing gradually slowed. “I’ve wanted to do that for a bloody long time.” He whispered, fingers gently running up and down Richard’s back. 

Richard nodded, leaning in for another gentle kiss. “You are the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.” He breathed, sending goosebumps down Thomas’s neck. “You kill me.” 

Thomas felt on the verge of tears, suddenly, at Richard’s declaration, and was surprised by the strength of his own emotions. He smiled at the man in his arms, unable to form words, and as Richard smiled back, he trailed soft kisses from his forehead and down his neck, landing at last on his lips. Thomas had never felt so safe in someone else’s arms, and he’d never allowed himself to be so vulnerable around another man, always needing to be cautious and stay at a distance, not wanting to allow himself to get close enough to get hurt. The somewhat stoic front he’d been forced to put up as a young adult had stayed with him, and it had become second nature to be cold and short with others – even going so far as to hurt others in their careers or lives to get what he wanted without feeling remorse. But this time. . .this time he was allowing himself to let those walls down, and he couldn’t have been happier about it.


	9. Chapter 9

“You okay?” Thomas asked softly as they lay together on his bed one morning about a week later. Richard lay with his head on his chest, and Thomas was gently stroking his hair. 

“I’m fine,” Richard nodded. “It’s just. . .” He trailed off, hand gesturing in the air before coming to rest back on his stomach and sighing heavily. 

“Yeah, I know,” Thomas agreed, knowing exactly how he was feeling. No matter how happy they were with each other, they were still stuck in space for the rest of their lives.

* * *

“So, I’m seeing someone. You’ll never guess who.” Richard spoke to his tablet some weeks later, unable to stop a smile from rising to his lips. “We’re the last two people in the world who would ever get together.” He recalled that morning, how he’d convinced Thomas to come running with him. They’d basically moved in together, settling in Thomas’s suite. Richard had his closet full of clothes, as did Thomas, and they were slowly learning each other’s habits and endearing traits as well as the less endearing ones. “Yet here we are. The last two people in the world.” 

“What’s that?” Carson asked, looking over at him while shining a glass. 

“I’m writing Carson, hush.” He glanced over at the android, then cleared the words he’d just spoken from his tablet. 

“Thomas and I live an accidental happiness, like castaways making a home on strange shores. . .”

* * *

“‘Strange shores.’ I love it.” Thomas complimented, scanning over Richard’s words with a smile. They sat in a Japanese restaurant, eating dinner while he read. 

“You do? You don’t have to say that.” Richard reached over, grabbing a dumpling off his plate. 

Both of them looked up as the holographic fish that swam above their table glitched, pixelating and turning the wrong colors for a moment before resuming their smooth gliding through the air. 

“Did that seem fishy to you?” Thomas asked.

Richard snorted, rolling his eyes. “Keep reading.”

“ _It’s funny. We all have dreams; we plan out futures like we’re the captains of our fate._ ” Thomas read silently. “ _But we’re passengers. We simply go where fate takes us. This isn’t life we’d planned, but its ours_.” Thomas smiled, remembering the way he’d found a box of precious metals in the storage hall, knowing precisely what he was going to do with them; and the way Richard would drag him into bed, eagerly tearing off his clothes, both of them wanting to be as close as physically possible.

“ _And for the first time in my life, I don’t feel alone. We weren’t supposed to find each other – but we did. He makes me feel like my life isn’t over; it’s just beginning_.” He recalled the day he’d found the room on the Avalon that held all plant life – how seeing the greenery had brought tears to his eyes as he walked through the rows and rows of trees, vegetables, flowers. A bush of roses encased in glass and suspended in fluid had caught his attention and he turned to it with a smile.

* * *

“How was your day?” Thomas asked one evening, walking through the doors of their room, a hand behind his back.

Richard walked down the stairs towards him, “Good. I wrote a few pages. Did you find anything that could help us?”

Grinning, Thomas spun around, pulling his hand from behind his back and producing a small bouquet of red roses, “I did.”

Richard gasped, eyes widening. “Are those real?” He reached for the flowers, gaze flicking from him to the roses and back again as he brought them to his nose.

“I cut them myself.” Thomas said, overjoyed at Richard’s reaction.

“You know,” Richard looked at the roses, then up at him tenderly. “For two unlucky people we sure got pretty lucky.” Thomas leaned into Richard’s hand as he reached up to caress his cheek, nodding ever so slightly and ignoring the knot of guilt that tightened in his stomach.

“ _ATTENTION: You may wish to proceed to a viewing area. The Avalon with slingshot around the star Arcturus_.” The ship announced several weeks later. Thomas and Richard had been looking forward to watching the star and now that it was here, they were running through the halls like schoolboys, hands entwined, to the observation deck.

It was orange and red and bright as the sun, and both of their jaws fell open in awe as they came face to face with the star. The Avalon shuddered, and Richard stumbled into Thomas, wrapping his arms around his torso as they watched the star come closer and closer, then drift away a minute later. Thomas found himself clinging tightly to Richard, wrapped in a tight embrace as the Arcturus faded from view and the lights in the observation deck came back on.

“That was _amazing_.” Richard breathed in awe. “The red giant.”

“The universe’s present to you.” Thomas whispered with a small knowing smile. Richard turned, his arms now looping around his neck.

“What?”

“Happy birthday.”

Richard looked happily surprised that he’d remembered his birthday, smiling before leaning in to kiss him deeply.

Thomas pulled away a few minutes later, as they ended up on one of the observations decks risers, pulling at each other’s clothes, hands roaming to places that made each other moan.

“What is it?” Richard asked breathlessly, voice low with desire.

“Ah, nothing.” Thomas smiled. “I just can’t believe you’re an old man now.” He teased.

“Says the one who’s thirty-one.” Richard taunted back, a soft chuckle escaping him.

“Mmm,” Thomas replied noncommittally. He sat up, adjusting his now rumpled clothing. “I’ve made a reservation at one of the finest restaurants in town for this evening – we mustn’t miss it.”

“Of course not.” Richard agreed, nodding while leaning in for a kiss, this one soft and loving. Thomas nearly melted in his arms, bursting with love for the man lying beside him. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for him. At that thought, his heart clenched. He still had yet to tell Richard the real reason of his waking up – and though the guilt over the last few months had been ebbing away, he knew it would wreck Richard to find out and that any chance of their happiness together would be gone.

That evening they ate a fine dinner and dessert, the robot waiters bringing out a birthday cake whilst singing ‘happy birthday’, and eventually they ended up at the bar. Carson poured them each a glass of champagne, wishing Richard a happy birthday as they sat down.

“Aren’t you going to ask my age? I might not be old enough to drink.” Richard quipped, and Thomas chuckled.

“Oh, I would never ask your age, especially not in front of your date.” Carson replied.

“There’s no secrets between me and Thomas,” Richard replied, elbowing him lightly and smiling.

“Is that so?” Carson looked at Thomas, and guilt flooded him.

“You heard the man,” Thomas nodded towards the android, then looked to Richard. “I’ll be right back.” He excused himself, setting down his glass of champagne and heading towards the bathroom at the other end of the bar. Tucked in his pocket was a ring, which he pulled out to look at the moment the door closed behind him. A simple silver band of his own design, sitting in a small velvet cloth. He smiled at it, hoping Richard would give him the answer he was longing for.

* * *

“This is the perfect birthday drink, thank you Carson.” Richard said after taking a sip of the delicious champagne and setting the glass down.

Carson nodded, smiling. “I remember this day a year ago. Thomas was so looking forward to meeting you.”

“What? How could he be looking forward to meeting me?” Richard asked, brow creasing on confusion. He’d woken up because of a malfunction in his pod, how could Thomas have known he’d wake up?

“Oh he spent months deciding whether to wake you up. He couldn’t stop talking about you.”

“Thomas woke me up?” Richard’s heart had stopped, and his words came out as a horrified whisper. He had been _lied to_ every. Single. Day. Thomas had been lying to him since they met. He’d trusted him more than anything – now he realized that had been the worst mistake of his life.

“Yes. He said it was the hardest decision of his life. I see now that it all worked out just fine.” Carson smiled.  


* * *

Thomas tucked the ring in its pouch back into his suit pocket and walked back into the bar. “What?” He asked as Richard’s hardened gaze met his.

“Did you wake me up?” Richard asked, voice breaking and tears filling his eyes. He sounded horrified, like he didn’t want to know the answer he knew was coming.

“Yes, I woke you up.” Thomas answered quietly, steeling himself for the reaction he knew was coming.

“How. . .how could you do it?” Richard shook his head, nearly unable to speak, overwhelmed with panic, rage, and a sense of loss.

“I tried not to.” Thomas said, knowing that he was entirely in the wrong, that he had just broken Richard. His worst fear had come true. Their relationship was never going to recover, this he knew. Regret surged powerfully within him, forcing tears to his eyes – how could he have taken Richard’s life away from him and not told him sooner? How could he have been so cruel?

“I’m going to be sick.” Richard stuttered, standing from the bar and looking around the room. “I can’t see.”

“Richard, please. . .” Thomas took a step towards him, reaching out in an attempt to comfort him.

“Stay _away_ from me!” Richard staggered away from the bar, arms out to steady himself as he ran blindly to the concourse’s elevator, heading straight to his and Thomas’ shared room. He was flooded with memories as he made his way up the stairs to the bed and shared wardrobe, each one sending a bolt of betrayal through his entire body. Panic fueled him as he tore into the room, grabbing what was his before finding himself back in his old room, alone.

“I have to get off this ship. I can’t get off this ship. I can’t get off. . .this. . .ship!” Dropping what was in his arms, he grabbed blindly at a vase and threw it as hard as he could at the window, screaming with the force. The vase shattered and his legs buckled beneath him, shouts giving away to sobs as he crumpled to the floor. Tears flooded his vision and he felt his sadness and sense of betrayal was unending. He had lost his sole source of companionship, his only friend, his only lover and partner, in an instant. His heart had been shattered, never to fully recover. Thoughts and questions ran around his mind, chaotic and scattered. How could Thomas have _lied_ to him like that? For months he had believed his pod to have malfunctioned and that he was doomed to die as a result of an accident. But Thomas had killed him. He had been _murdered_. How could he have been so daft as to trust him? He’d never trust Thomas again. He was going to die in the depths of space with the person who had woken him up on purpose.


	10. Chapter 10

Thomas slowly approached the table at which Richard was sitting, the next morning in the canteen. His back was to him and he had a tray of breakfast, but it hadn’t been touched. “Can I talk to you?” He asked hesitantly, flinching when Richard jumped up and walked away from his as if he were being chased, his entire body stiff.

The days passed, all similarly silent and angry, and Thomas couldn’t blame him. He _had_ woken him up – but it had been to save his own life. The entire ship felt empty and bigger than it had before, as Thomas recalled all that had happened the night of Richard’s birthday. The look in Richard’s eyes when he had returned from the toilet, the betrayal painted across his face. And worse, the way Richard’s voice had broken when he tried to shout at Thomas - the devastation thrust into his words. The way he’d broken down while trying to leave the bar, feet nearly collapsing from underneath him. The way he flinched from Thomas’s touch. All the pain Richard was feeling was entirely his fault.

Thomas didn’t know what to do with himself, now that his days weren’t occupied with Richard. He found himself timing exactly when he entered and left rooms so as to avoid him – so that he didn’t hurt Richard any further. He could presume Richard did so to avoid the agony he surely felt when he saw him. One night, as he was sleeping fitfully – he’d rather gotten used to sleeping beside someone else – he awoke to find Richard kneeling over him, his face a mask of anger and betrayal. Before he had time to say anything, or even react, he was being punched. Blows hit his face, chest, arms, but he didn’t fight back aside from try to block the punches being thrown at him as he knew he deserved it. He deserved all the pain he was in – because he knew Richard was in even more agony than he. There was nothing he could do until Richard rolled off him and grabbed something from the floor beside his bed.

Chest heaving, Richard raised a large wrench over his head, and dread sunk Thomas’s stomach. He blocked his head, looking up at the man holding the wrench, agony written in his expression and tears streaming down his face. Slowly, realizing he was powerless, Thomas opened his arms and exposed his face and his torso, surrendering.

Richard looked down at him, poised to strike and Thomas waited, expecting to be hit. Instead, after a few moments, Richard crumpled, sobbing, and threw down the wrench back onto the floor with a yell and climbed off the bed, storming out of his room. Letting out a breath he suddenly realized he was holding, Thomas stared up at the ceiling, tears pricking his eyes. He didn’t know how to fix what he’d broken.

* * *

Weeks passed, and as they did, Thomas had found a way of occupying his time while avoiding Richard. He’d found the surveillance center, which had live feeds from all the security cameras on the ship, and a microphone for the ships attendants and crew to broadcast messages to passengers. He spent his days in the surveillance center, watching the routine that Richard had quickly developed. He found he'd get up early and go for a run, and then visit the ship’s pool – an activity that had carried over from when they were together.

Seeing Richard live his life without him destroyed Thomas. He was seemingly fine, while Thomas could barely function. Being able to watch Richard and not speak to him was the worst part, though. He had figured out how to use the ships broadcasting system to be able to speak live to the entire ship, and it was difficult not to speak to Richard the moment he figured that out. He desperately needed to speak to him, and as the days passed his self-restraint slowly dwindled until one morning, he couldn’t hold his words in any longer.

“Richard. I know nothing I can say will make this okay, but _please_ listen.” Thomas spoke, watching Richard go from a fast jog to a stop, looking around and trying to find the source of his voice. “I was so alone. . .for so long,” He said, looking at the screen as Richard picked back up his run. “It felt like I was disappearing. The night I first saw you I was ready to. . .” He let out an unsteady breath, “You saved my life.”

“I know that’s no excuse for everything I did.” Thomas paused, then continued. “I read everything you wrote. And I fell in love. With your voice, with the way your mind works. . .I fell in love with you. And all of a sudden, I felt like - ah, like I wasn’t trapped anymore; my pointless life suddenly had meaning. And I wish I could take it back. But I can’t.”

“Richard. . .” Thomas sighed, “I don’t want to lose you.”

“I don’t _care!_ ” Richard yelled, cutting Thomas to the core. “I don’t care what you want! I don’t care why you woke me up! You _took_ my _life_!”

* * *

Some days later, Thomas sat on his bed, parts and tools strewn about as he was working on fixing yet another cleaning bot. The spatial sensor seemed to have gone bad, so he was working on reprogramming it. Focusing intently on some wiring diagram on his tablet, he was startled as the snowy winter scene along the wall glitched, and then all the lights in his room dimmed drastically. Thomas set down his tablet and got out of bed, ready to find the control panel for his room when a voice spoke.

 _Please stand by, your suite's control center is rebooting._ ” The familiar female voice spoke from the walls. A moment later, the lights turned back on to full power.

Thomas relaxed, until the sounds of glitching scenery caught his attention and he turned to see the panel of screen on his wall switch spastically from one scene to the next, to an unfamiliar error message, then back to the calm winter scene he’d had it on originally. He frowned in confusion, wondering what was happening behind the scenes that he didn’t know about – or more importantly, what else was going wrong on the ship.  


* * *

Richard sat at the bar, taking his time with the drink sitting in front of him, running his finger around and around the lip of the glass. He had taken to spending lots of time in the bar, venting to Carson, unable to process any other way.

“I envy you, Carson.”

“How so?"

“You have purpose. You’re always happy.” He looked up at the android, polishing a glass.

“How’s your book coming along?” Carson sidestepped the conversation, steering it in a different direction as his computer system was unable to respond to such emotion.

“I’ve never written about myself before,” Richard admitted. “I believe it’s some of the best work I’ve done and I don’t even know why I’m doing it. There’s only one person who could read it, and I can’t stand him.”

“They say time heals all wounds.” Carson responded.

“Broken hearts aren’t that simple Carson,” Richard shook his head slightly, gaze dropping back down to his glass. He sighed, “You wouldn’t understand.” He fell silent, contemplating all of the good things he’d lost.

“Carson!” Thomas greeted loudly, and Richard startled, whipping around to see him walking into the bar. Their eyes met and neither of them said anything for a moment, both shocked at seeing one another after weeks of avoidance.

“Tuesday’s my day with Carson.” Thomas said, looking crestfallen.

“It’s Wednesday.” He replied, voice flat. Honestly, the man could fix machines and literally used to work at a _watch company_ and he couldn’t remember what day of the week it was. He shook his head, feeling the familiar pang of pain in his chest. “Bar’s all yours.” He downed the rest of his drink before standing and striding past Thomas, intentionally avoiding eye contact, hoping he couldn’t see the sadness written all over his face.

As he strode out, he heard Carson glide over to Thomas and ask in his ever-cheery voice, “What’ll you have? Whiskey?”

“Coffee.” Thomas replied solemnly.

Once back in his room, Richard laid on his bed, exhausted by his emotions. He found himself waking up some hours later, feeling confused for a moment at why he was lying in bed alone. Then it hit him again and he sighed, the heavy feeling back in his chest. Raking his fingers through his now thoroughly disheveled hair, he turned his computer on. He felt so alone, and after searching for something to distract himself, he stumbled across video recordings that his friends had made before he left. Each passenger was allotted a certain amount of memory space on the ships database to store messages from friends and loved ones, and Richard had forgotten he had them. He smiled, swiping through the videos.

“Richard! We love you! What are we going to do without you? We’ll miss you so. . .” His grandparents shouted at the camera, above the din of the party in the background. His going away party.

“You’re the bravest man I know.” One of his friends said as he swiped through another video.

He stopped scrolling when a video of one of his best friends popped up. The familiarity of his face, and his expressions caused his heart to ache, longing to be home. “I promise, that I will think of you every day. When you wake up, I'll be gone, but just know that I will never forget you. You're my best friend. You were never happy here. I know that. Nothing was ever enough for you. You know, you don't have to go. You could do whatever it is you have to do right here. But. . .Since you're going, here's my wish. I hope you finally find someone who fills your heart, and I hope you let them in. I hope you realize you don't have to do something amazing to be happy. You know, have fun, take chances. Okay. I love you, Richard. Bye.”

Tears rolled down his face as the video ended. He was loved, that much he knew – but he would never get to see any of them again. He’d known that from the start, obviously, but it was hitting him anew now that he didn’t even have Thomas. Sniffing, he wiped his face and closed out of the videos, standing at his desk. He felt even more alone now, than ever. Deciding to walk, Richard wandered through the dimmed corridors, he found himself walking along the second floor of the grand concourse. As he walked through, he was surprised to see he wasn’t the only one awake so late at night. Leaning over the railing, he glanced down to see some sort of large blueprint drawing on the floor that he didn’t understand, looking quickly away when Thomas looked up at him and feeling that familiar anger simmer in the very pit of his stomach. Unsure of how much time was passing, feeling as if he was in a heavy fog, moving in slow motion, he walked out of the grand concourse and aimlessly around the ship until he was walking along the rows and rows of pods. Coming across his, he curled into it, tucking his hands under his cheek as he replayed the words of his best friend. “ _I love you, Richard. Bye._ ”  


* * *

“Morning, Carson.” Thomas greeted, smiling at the bartender as he walked into the bar, covered from head to toe in a combination of oil, and dirt, grubby from his work over the past night. “Coffee, please,”

“Coming up.” Carson slid away to grab his drink as he sat down. Gliding back, mug in hand, he asked lightheartedly, “Are you soiling my barstool?”

“If you want to make things, you’ve got to get your hands dirty.” Thomas replied, his morale feeling boosted from his successful work.

“And what have you been making?” Carson inquired.

“Improvements,” Thomas answered with a smirk, taking a sip of his coffee.

Across the ship, Richard was entering the Grand Concourse, stunned at the sight of an oak tree in the middle of the room. “So that’s what he was doing,” He mumbled softly, stepping closer to the tree and reaching out to touch the trunk reverently. It had been too long – too long since he’d gotten to behold the glory of nature in any other capacity than through a screen. He breathed in, then out, slowly, closing his eyes and relishing in the feeling of being nearer Earth than he had in a long time.  


* * *

The next day, Thomas was in the elevator, tool belt slung around his waist, ready to fix a waiter-bot that had broken down a few days ago when the elevator lurched to a stop after announcing “ _First Floor_.” He looked around, stomach dropping in fear as the lights turned red. He pressed the screen to open the doors, but it did nothing. He tried again, and again, frantically pressing the panel before realizing he was going to have to force his way out. “Shit,” Thomas muttered, reaching for his tool belt for something that might help him pry the doors open. “First the food dispenser, and now this.” He shook his head, worried about the state of the Avalon. Yesterday he’d walked into the canteen to find a large pile of cereal on the ground and Richard standing next to it.

“I ordered the Large Breakfast Plate, but this is what poured out instead. It was like it didn’t know what it was doing.” Richard had explained to him, briefly meeting his gaze before turning abruptly and walking away, presumably heading to find breakfast elsewhere.

Grunting, Thomas was finally able to work the doors open, finding himself stuck at the top of the corridor. Only through the very bottom of the elevator could he see out. Once he pried the doors open about a foot, they suddenly released and opened all the way, the elevator’s regular lights turning back on and dropping to ground level, hurtling Thomas to the floor.

As he groaned in pain, an unfamiliar voice spoke from over the speakers throughout the ship, shocking Thomas to his core.

"This is Deck Chief Robert Crawley. Who the _hell_ planted a tree on my ship?”


	11. Chapter 11

Thomas scrambled to his feet at the voice, running down the corridor towards the Grand Concourse. He slowed, coming to a stop as he rounded the corner to see a man standing in front of the oak tree, looking up at it. At Thomas’s footsteps, he turned around. Confused and surprised, Thomas gaped at him, unable to comprehend that _someone else_ was awake. 

Richard ran into the room soon after from a different hallway, and the deck chief looked back and forth between them before jerking his thumb at the tree behind him. “Who did that?” 

“I-I did,” Thomas answered, finding his voice.

“Who are you?”

“Thomas Barrow.” 

The man looked at Richard, who swallowed and answered, “Richard Ellis.” His voice emphasized the shock he was also feeling. 

“Anyone else awake?”

“Just me and him.” Richard replied.

“And how far along are we?” Robert looked over at him.

“Eighty-eight years to go.” Thomas answered sullenly. 

Robert sighed, shaking his head and closing his eyes briefly. “Hibernation failure. They said that couldn’t happen. Three people. . .three pod failures.” 

Richard glanced over to him, gaze piercing, and Thomas swallowed thickly. He knew they were both thinking the same thing: _Three people, two pod failures._

Robert started quickly to the ships control center, knowing exactly where he was headed. He swiped his wristband at the control panel next to the door and it opened smoothly. 

“You’ve no idea how long I’ve been trying to get in there.” Thomas scoffed, recalling the endless tools he’d tried to bring the door down with. 

“Now that you’re in, don’t touch _anything_.”

“This is where you work?” Richard asked, speaking up for the first time since his brief answer back in the Grand Concourse. 

“No, this is Flight Crew. I’m a Deck Chief.” Robert moved to the edge of the room, where there were several screens painting a large picture of the entire ship with readings all over it. He leaned forward, looking at it for a moment. “If I’m reading this right, we’re still on course. So, whatever’s wrong with the ship, NavCom’s still on the job.”

“There’s something wrong with the ship?” Richard questioned; arms crossed over his chest. 

“Three pod failures? Yes, there’s something wrong. Question is – what.” Robert turned, walking to the center of the room and pulling up a holographic 3D image of the ship over the holotable.

“That’s strange,” Robert frowned, “I should be getting diagnostics from all over the ship right here, but there’s no data. That means we’ve got to check all the systems manually.”

“Can’t we just turn the ship around? Go back to Earth?” Richard asked, already sounding frustrated.

“No, we’re moving at fifty percent of light speed. Turning back would take just as much energy as going on.”

“Well there’s got to be _something_ we can do!” Richard implored.

“Sorry,” Robert shook his head, “We’re going where we’re going.” 

As he responded and walked across the cabin, he seemed to lose his footing and his breath all at once, breathing heavily and stumbling. Thomas reached out, catching him by the arm until he was stable. 

“You alright?”

“Hibernation hangover. Get it all the time.” Robert brushed him off, but Thomas couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something he wasn’t being told.

* * *

“So you’ve been stuck awake for two years?” Robert asked as they made their way back to the Grand Concourse. “Any more trees I should know about?” He joked, attempting to diffuse the tension. They stepped out of the elevator, when suddenly there was a cleaner-bot hurtling over the edge of the balcony above. 

“ _Look out!_ ” Richard yelled, pushing Robert out of the way as the bot fell just where he’d been standing a moment ago. 

Thomas jumped out of the way as the parts of the bot shattered everywhere. 

“Never seen that before,” Robert panted, looking down at the bot. 

“These bots have been breaking down.” Thomas said, “This guy makes. . . fifteen?”

“Fifteen. . .” Robert breathed, shaking his head. 

“This morning my elevator broke down.” Thomas continued. 

“The breakfast bar went crazy yesterday.” Richard added. “Last week my door broke. I was trapped in my cabin for two days.”

“You were?” Thomas asked, concern filling his voice as Richard met his eyes briefly, then looked away. 

“Things like that don’t happen. Not on this ship.” Robert sounded affronted yet determined. He turned, leading them to a panel in the wall that opened. Out slid rows of data tablets. “There are sixteen of these tech stations on every deck,” He slid a tablet he was holding into an empty slot in the station. “Dock your slate. Data syncs automatically. Got it?” 

Both Thomas and Richard nodded, Richard saying a quiet, “Yeah,” in affirmation. 

“Good,” Robert turned to them, holding out two more of the data slates. “Ellis, you take decks one and two. Barrow, you take decks three and four. I’m going down to the hibernation bay to check our pods.” 

“Well, that should be interesting.” Richard muttered to Thomas once Robert was out of earshot, filling Thomas with guilt.

* * *

Thomas made his way to his assigned decks, hurrying to get down to where Robert was checking the hibernation pods. As he approached, Robert glanced behind him and saw Thomas standing there. 

“Aren’t you supposed to making your rounds?” Robert was kneeling beside Richard’s pod, holding a data chip in his hand. 

“I’m finished.” Thomas replied quietly, pressing his lips together tightly and shifting nervously.

“I checked your pod. Problem's very simple, the clock chip’s burnt out. It isn’t supposed to happen, but pretty simple. My pod's more complicated. Bunch of system failures that all happened at the same time. Whole damn thing went haywire. Explains why I'm feeling so bad.” Robert let out a heavy breath, getting to his feet and facing Thomas. “But Richard’s pod. . .you did this.” 

“Yes,” Thomas breathed, eyes on the floor. 

“All this time I’m thinking you’re one lucky son of a bitch to get stuck with Richard but. . .it wasn’t luck, was it?” Robert moved closer to him, and Thomas raised his gaze to meet the deck chiefs.

“No.” He shook his head slightly, ready for the laying into he was surely about to get. 

“He knows?” Robert sounded shocked, but his tone held a surprising element of understanding.

“He knows.”

“How long were you alone?” 

“A year.” Thomas let out a breath, recalling his seemingly endless months of loneliness and depression. 

Robert seemed to consider his answer for a few moments before shaking his head slightly. “Still. . . _damn_.” 

As the deck chief walked away, Thomas stood, staring hard at Richard’s opened pod, unable to process how he was feeling. He could see what he’d done was wrong – he’d known that from the start – but couldn’t anyone understand the agony that he’d had to go through to get to such a desperate moment as to wake someone else up? Either way, what was done was done and could not be undone.

* * *

Richard walked into the flight crew’s room having finished his rounds to see the holographic image of the ship hovering above the holotable but with. . .many more red error messages and damage alerts all across the ship. The sight turned his stomach. He walked up to the holotable, data slate in his hands, and Robert took it, exporting the data to the console. 

“Same as Thomas’s,” Robert muttered as the information came up in the ships image. “System shutdowns everywhere, but no apparent connection.”

Richard stared hard at him, jaw clenching, “You saw the hibernation pods?”

“I saw.” Robert replied quietly. 

“So you know? What Thomas did.” Richard continued quietly, angrily. 

“Yeah,”

“ _And_?” 

“It’s not my bus-”

“He woke me _up_. He took my _life_!” Richard cut him off, voice rising in anguish. 

“I know,” Robert sighed, “And I’m sorry but there’s work I’d-”

“It’s. _Murder_.” Richard finished. 

Robert finally turned and met his gaze, speaking sternly. “You’re right, Richard. But the drowning man will always try and pull someone down with him. It isn’t right, but the man’s drowning.” The weight behind his words struck him.

Deep down, he knew Robert was right. Thomas had to have been on the verge of something extremely drastic to do what he’d done – but that didn’t mean he accepted it or forgave him. 

“This one makes sixteen,” 

Richard spun around as Thomas entered the room, holding a smaller cleaner-bot. He looked away quickly, tension filling the room. 

“Yeah,” Robert nodded, looking back at the hologram. All three were silent for a moment until a sudden coughing fit attacked Robert and all focus was on him. Richard stepped closer with an arm outstretched, worried. 

“Hey, you alright?” He waited as Robert, coughing slowing, nodded and stood upright again. “You should go rest.” He advised. 

“Alright.” Robert agreed, sounding reluctant. “But just a couple hours, then back at it first thing.” He met his gaze, then Thomas’s as he left the room, leaving both him and Thomas in an uncomfortable silence. Richard didn’t like how Robert was acting, nearly falling over and having fits of coughing. Something more must have been wrong, but he didn’t know what. Briefly, he met Thomas’s gaze, who looked earnest, like he had something he wanted to say but didn’t know how. Richard felt his own expression harden as he brushed past him to leave the room – he too, didn’t know what to say but knew that whatever it was, it could wait until morning.


	12. Chapter 12

Richard woke far too early – the excitement of someone else on the ship waking up and a feeling of renewed hope made for a restless night of sleep. Throughout the night he’d tossed and turned, unable to stop ruminating over the events of the past couple of days. The progressively worsening failures on the ship. A tree being planted on the Grand Concourse. Deck chief Robert Crawley’s pod failing and waking him up. His own feelings towards Thomas after his conversation with said deck chief. The clock on his nightstand read five-o-three AM and Richard sighed, knowing he wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep with so much on his mind. Sitting up, he contemplated going for a run then decided against it, tugging his swim trunks over his hips instead and throwing on a t-shirt to head to the pool. 

There was something quite comforting about swimming to early in the morning – even if whenever he looked out the massive windows that made up one wall of the pool room all he could see were billions of stars. The cool calm of the water, the muffled silence when he dove underneath, the blueish tint the water turned the world around him. He made laps for the first few minutes of his swim, then took a deep breath and dipped below the surface, eyes closing. It was in this brief minute that the gravity gave way without warning and when Richard made to swim to the surface, found he was unable to. The water floated up out of the basin in huge bubbles and it would have beautiful had it not been for the fact that he was fucking _stuck in one_. His lungs burned, air struggling against his closed mouth to breathe out, then in again as he attempted to swim to the surface of the sphere in which he was trapped. He kicked his legs, pushing against the water with his arms, straining to get his head out of the water. Moving as if in slow motion, he gasped as he made it to the edge of the bubble to take a breath, soothing his burning lungs only to find a surge of water hurtling in his direction through the air. Panic took hold as he was hit with a wave that only made his bubble of water bigger, nearly forcing the breath he’d just taken straight out of his lungs. 

As the seconds ticked by, Richard struggling with all his might to get back to the surface, his need for air grew more and more. He was running out of air, and fast. His muscles felt weak and his frantic attempts began to slow until the edge of his vision began to darken and blur. Everything in him _screamed_ for air but none came, and a single thought came sharply into focus. _I’m going to die on this ship, completely and utterly alone_.

Then everything went black.

* * *

Thomas rolled over in bed, reaching for the sheets that had somehow slipped off him in the night. Reaching out blindly, he mumbled a vaguely frustrated noise when he felt a cool draft on his body and couldn’t find the sheet to cover himself back up. His eyes fluttered open for a moment, closed again, then snapped open when he realized just exactly why he couldn’t find the sheets. 

He was floating ten feet off the ground above the first floor of his bedroom. He barely had time to come to that realization and mutter a “What the fu-” when he was suddenly _plummeting_ towards the floor. He crashed hard to the floor along with every other object in the room, head smacking the ground hard enough to disorient him for several seconds and left him unable to breathe for just as long. When the stars stopped spinning in his eyes and he regained the function of his lungs, Thomas realized his nose was bleeding. 

His first thought: _what the_ hell _just happened?_

His second thought: _Richard. What if he was hurt?_

Thomas sprung into action, adrenaline forcing away the pain he felt. He had to find Richard, make sure he was okay. He grabbed a rag – or maybe it was an old t-shirt – off the ground to slow the bleeding from his nose before sprinting out of his room, every fiber of his being focused on finding Richard. 

Somewhere on level two Thomas ran down a corridor, heading towards an elevator when it opened, and Richard came running out. Having been focused on the elevator, he ran straight into him and realized two things simultaneously. One, he had automatically moved to wrap his arms around Richard to steady them both after colliding together. Two, Richard was dripping wet and without a shirt. 

Richard pushed out of his arms, panting as Thomas asked, “Are you okay?” 

“I was in the pool when the gravity went out.” He explained, already walking away from him. “We have to find Robert.” 

Thomas followed, banging hard on the deck chief’s door to see if he was in there while Richard yelled his name.

* * *

“Gravity loss means whatever’s wrong is starting to hit the big-ticket items. That’s not good. Every failure’s a burnt-out processor, everything on board is thinking too hard – but why?” Robert paced anxiously behind the hologram of the ship as they now gathered on the flight deck, which was now displaying many red hotspots, indicating an error or a malfunction. 

Thomas stood on the other side of the holotable next to Richard, watching as Robert commanded the computer to show the failures over time. “It started two years ago. Power surge. Seventeen failures in one day, including hibernation pod 1498.” Robert said as he analyzed the data, pointing to the first data point. 

“That’s me,” Thomas said, “Woke me up.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Richard look over at him, expression softening. He didn’t dare meet his gaze.

“What happened that day?” Richard asked, looking back to Robert. 

“Something big.” Robert answered, looking up at Richard. “A major system went down somewhere. Everything else on board is trying to pick up the load, but the load's too heavy. Whatever started this, we’ve got to find it. And fix it.”

“How bad can this get?” Richard asked, worry in his tone.

“Give me risk-analysis based on this data.” Robert asked in lieu of a reply. 

“ _A mission-critical failure is imminent. Failing systems: Life Support, Fusion Reactor, Hibernation Bay, Ion Drive. . ._ ” The ship responded.

“So we’re stranded. On a sinking ship.” Richard sounded defeated, hopeless.

* * *

“ _Main Engineering._ ” The ship announced as Robert led the way into the engineering deck. Thomas gaped as they entered, taken aback by the size of the room. Bigger than any flight hangar he’d ever seen, the room seemed to stretch on as far as he could see. 

“Not a whole lot of things big enough to hit this ship that hard.” Robert said, walking to the edge of the platform and resting his hands on the railing that surrounded it. “With Diagnostics out, we’ll have to search for it ourselves. But there’s hope yet.”

“So, where do we start?” Thomas asked, staring wide-eyed at the expanse that was the engineering deck. How he’d never been down here in two years, he had no clue. 

Looking around at the what had to have been miles of inner workings, Thomas startled as he heard something collapse beside him. 

“Robert!” Richard exclaimed, and he turned to see Robert unconscious on the floor, a trickle of blood coming out of his nose. 

Wordless, both Thomas and Richard worked together to carry Robert to the infirmary and laid him in the Autodoc. 

“ _Scan complete. Analyzing data._ ” The dock announced some minutes later, at which time Robert was beginning to come back to consciousness. 

“What’s it say’s wrong with me?” He croaked weakly. 

“A few things,” Thomas replied quietly, watching the numbers of ‘disorders found’ count up and up on the screen next to the medical dock. 

“ _Six-hundred and twelve disorders found._ ” The dock announced. Thomas’s heart sank to his feet and he heard Richard gasp quietly, shocked. 

“Get me outta here,” Robert said, allowing himself to be helped into a sitting position. He stood, wincing with the movement, and stood in front of the screen. “What’s the prognosis?” 

“ _Critical diagnoses cannot be discussed without a ship doctor in attendance._ ”

Robert waved his wristband over the machine, “Override on my authority. ID 2317. Lay it on me, doc.” 

“ _Pan systemic necrosis. Progressive organ failure. Cause, unknown._ ” 

“My goofy hibernation pod, that’s the cause,” Robert replied, upset.

“What’s the treatment?” Richard asked quietly. Thomas was afraid of the answer.

“ _Various treatments possible. None will meaningfully extend the patient’s life._ ”

Thomas closed his eyes, head hanging, feeling acutely the loss he knew was coming. Without thinking, he reached for a source of comfort – Richard’s hand. To his shock, Richard took it and squeezed. 

“How long’ve I got?” Robert asked. 

“ _Your end of life transition is already underway. These sedatives will help alleviate your suffering during these final hours._ ” Across the room, a machine dispensed three white and blue pills.

Robert stared at the pills for a moment, then turned and walked slowly out of the room. Thomas followed him, as did Richard.

“Robert?” Richard asked, and the man turned around, looking deathly pale, dark circles surrounding his eyes. 

“I need a minute,” Robert replied, tears in his eyes and breath rattling in his lungs, each inhale and exhale sounding labored. Silently, Thomas watched as he turned again and walked away, down the corridor, heart sinking further with each step he took.

* * *

Warning lights flashed and an alarm began blaring across the ship accompanied by, “ _For your safety, please return to your cabins._ ”

The alarms had started a few minutes ago, and Thomas ran around the Grand Concourse, calling out for Robert while Richard was at the other end of the room doing the same thing. Heart in his throat now, they found Robert sitting in the observation deck. His breathing was raspy and weak, each breath shallow and clearly requiring a huge amount of effort. He turned slowly as Thomas and Richard approached to sit on either side. He was dressed in his deck chief’s attire, a matching navy-blue shirt and pants, with his hat wrapped in his hands in his lap looking every bit the leader that he was. 

“Should’ve took the damn pills,” He rasped. 

“I’ll go get them,” Thomas offered, already on his way to his feet.

“No. Stay here. Sit down,” Robert said solemnly, aware that he only had a few remaining minutes.

“You two take care of each other.” Robert breathed, and Thomas caught Richard’s eye. Richard swallowed, then broke eye contact as Robert took another rattling breath. 

“My ID,” He strained to undo it, and handed it to Thomas. “It’ll get you where you need to go. Fix the ship. Find out what’s wrong with her.” His voice was becoming steadily weaker.

“How do I look?” He asked, looking at Richard.

“You look magnificent.” Richard replied, tears in his eyes.

Robert sighed, a faint smile gracing his lips as he turned his gaze to the stars in front of them. Thomas caught him as he sighed and leaned into him, the effort of sitting upright becoming too much, each breath coming shallower and shallower until he had to strain to hear his breathing. They sat in silence, watching the universe wheel around them as Robert took his final breaths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry. . .


	13. Chapter 13

“What do we do now?” Richard’s voice sounded hollow, frightened; Thomas felt the same, seeing nothing but fear and grief in his eyes. They may have only known Robert for a couple of days, but in that time, Thomas had found he’d come to rely on him heavily. He was the one who was supposed to help them save the ship – how could they do that without him? They had been sitting beside Robert who had stopped breathing mere minutes ago, unsure of their course of action. 

Before he could answer his question, the ship shuddered, and the lights went out. Surrounded in darkness, Thomas jumped to his feet, heart hammering in his chest. A louder, more imminent alarm began to blare and the ship lit up again, this time in red lighting. 

“This can’t be good,” Thomas commented as the ship shook again, nearly knocking them off their feet. He looked at Richard once he steadied, “I’m going back to Engineering."

“Can you fix this?” Richard asked.

“I need your help.” He looked intently at him, voice heavy with meaning. 

Richard nodded, understanding this was no time to hold a grudge. 

“Let’s go,” Thomas led the way out of the Observation deck and soon they were sprinting across the grand concourse again. As they ran, the gravity gave way again and they lifted into the air for only a few moments before slamming back to the floor with force. Wincing, Thomas rushed to his feet again, meeting Richard’s gaze. He looked around him as they picked back up, stopping when he saw Carson slamming his torso repeatedly against the top of the bar, face emotionless, clearly not in control of his own functions. 

“Carson!” Richard gasped, leading the way into the bar as the android began picking up glasses as if to polish them, only to end up smashing them in his grasp. Thomas jumped over the bar, crouching to take the data chip out of Carson’s power port so he would stop moving. Once he got it out, he leaped back over the bar and pulled Richard back towards the exit.

* * *

“ _Main Engineering._ ” The room announced as they skidded onto the platform, catching their breath as they looked out at the horror that was engineering. 

“Can we wake up some of the crew?” Richard panted. 

“It’ll take them too long to recover,” Thomas shook his head, “We don’t have that kind of time.” 

“Then what are we even looking for?”

“Something broken. Something big.” Thomas replied grimly. 

He turned, looking around for where to begin, and found a flashlight hanging on the wall next to a tech station. He opened it up and looked to see Richard holding a tablet with what appeared to be a map of the engineering bay. 

“Is it broken?” Richard asked as Thomas opened the station and peered inside. 

“No, they all look fine. Where to next?” Thomas answered, closing the station. 

“Power plant – this way.” Richard looked down at his tablet, then back up as he led the way in the intermittent, red tinted darkness that was the maze of engineering. 

Once there, Thomas pulled Robert’s ID band out of his pocket and swiped it across the screen.

_Access Denied._

“Come _on._ ” Thomas groaned, swiping it again. 

_Access Denied._

“Whole section’s closed off, something must be wrong.” Thomas said, looking over at Richard. 

“Well, we’re looking for wrong, aren’t we?” Richard replied. “Try to open it.”

Thomas nodded – Richard was right. He swung the tool belt he’d grabbed on their way to engineering off his shoulder and began pulling out tools. He pried the access panel off the wall and fiddled with the data chip, inserting a different one. The doors opened and before he could blink, Richard was swept inside with a force of wind he could hardly comprehend. A second later, Thomas found himself being pulled into the room, unable to stop. 

With a yell, he stopped himself between the rapidly closing doors, feet pulled out in front of him as his arms gripped the outside of the doors, barely hearing the voice announcing: “ _Warning: Pressure fault. Lockdown initiated._ ”

Gritting his teeth, Thomas ignored the doors attempting to crush his ribs, looking down at his feet to see Richard barely holding on to a pipe in the middle of the room – and beyond him, a hole in the floor that was sucking everything towards it with incredible force. 

“ _Warning: dangerous oxygen level. Please secure all doors._ ” 

He looked around frantically for anything – anything to block that hole, when his eyes landed on the tablet. It looked large enough to cover the hole. Clenching his jaw, he reached out, trying to move it with his foot but it was _just_ too far out of reach. His heart raced, and he could barely get a breath in, but he pressed against the doors with his hands, attempting to widen it enough to he could slide closer to the floor. Wind whipped around him, sucking all the oxygen out of the room making it hard to gain control, but he finally slid far enough and was able to nudge his toe against it. “ _Grab it!_ ” He yelled to Richard, pushing the tablet from where it was lodged, sending it flying towards him. 

Richard was flung towards the hole, and the tablet’s screen cracked as it was attempted to be sucked into the hole – but it slowed down the air being pulled into it. Thomas groaned as he fought his way out of the door and fully into the room, making a beeline for a container that looked like a fire-extinguisher but was instead a sealant. Within three breaths, Thomas had grabbed the container, opened it full blast at the tablet and hole, and fell to his knees as the room began to pressurize again once the hole was sealed. 

“ _Pressure normalized, oxygen restored. End lockdown._ ”

He slumped back against the wall next to Richard, wincing as the wall felt freezing to the touch, forcing him to lean forward. 

“A hole. . .in. . .the ship,” Richard gasped, staring at the sealed hole in the floor. His breath billowed in front of him, and Thomas suddenly noticed how intensely cold it was in the room.

“More than one.” Thomas panted, looking up and noticing yet another hole, this one through the wall.

“How does that even happen, the ship’s supposed to be meteor proof.” Richard commented as Thomas scrambled to his feet. Thomas opened the door and looked at the hole in the wall, then to the wall opposite, stomach sinking with dread as he saw a trail of destruction through a solid steel beam and another wall. “Guess one got through,” Richard said, voice sinking with dread. 

Thomas and Richard followed the trail of holes in the ship and they found themselves at the third section of engineering: the power core of the ship. He opened the door and was hit with a wave of heat. The power core was behind a thick glass window, and it looked as if it was a tornado made of fire swirling around and around at a furious speed around the metal core. 

“Shit, it’s hot.” Thomas swore, stepping back. 

“I think we found it. The problem.” Richard said at the same time. Thomas looked over at him and nodded. He stepped into the room, Richard right beside him. His attention was shifted by a large circular power structure just to the left of the window, and saw a big meteor-sized hole in it. Walking up to it, he took a closer look them shifted his gaze to Richard behind him. 

“It’s the reactor-control computer.” He said grimly. Richard looked back at him, stunned and afraid. Thomas looked around behind the power structure, looking up and seeing a blocked hole in the wall where the meteor had entered the room and shattered. “This is what hit us two years ago!” 

“Thomas?” Richard asked, sounding further away. “How can we fix this?” Richard continued, and Thomas followed him to see Richard staring at the fireball in the power core. “We’re going to die.” The hopelessness and panic in his voice made Thomas want to wrap his arms around him and tell him everything would be okay – even if it wouldn’t. Neither of them knew how the ship was built or any of the mechanical details about the ship. They were stuck on a ship that was about to explode. But he had to be the grounding voice – only one of them could panic at a time, or else they’d get nothing done, even if all he wanted to do was curl up and cry. But no. No. He wouldn’t do that – he couldn’t let the hopelessness take hold. They would fix this. They had to. 

“There’s replacement parts for everything.” Thomas replied, making sure his voice was steady and reassuring. Richard looked at him, fear etched into his features. Thomas stepped closer, reaching for his hand. Richard didn’t hesitate to take it and squeeze, tightly. Their gazes met and held - for the first time in months, and despite everything, Thomas felt just a bit more at ease.

* * *

The pair made their way to the replacement section of the storage floor as they could, Thomas digging through data slates until he found the right one. They made their way back up to the power core, carrying the part between them. 

“As soon as I pull this module, the entire computer’s going to shut down.” Thomas said, readying to pull the broken part out of its dock. The heat was continuing to build in the room, and his palms felt slick with sweat. 

“Well what happens then?” Richard asked.

Thomas looked over at him, heaving a worried breath. “I’ll get it back up as quick as I can.”

The moment Richard nodded Thomas yanked the broken part out. Everything went dark, the only illumination the raging fireball within the core. 

“Hurry!” Urged Richard, handing him the replacement part.

Thomas shoved the replacement into its dock, and the lights turned back on, the ship seeming to stabilize for a brief moment.

“ _Control computer restored._ ”

Thomas ran over to the large computer in the middle of the room, a graphic showing up on the screen showing the something venting. 

“ _Venting reactor._ ”

Thomas hazarded a grin, they were finally getting somewhere! 

Just then, the fireball expanded outward violently, rocking the ship and Thomas’s grin was replaced with fear. 

“ _Venting failed._ ”

“But we _fixed it!_ ” Yelled Richard angrily, turning to glare at the swirling flames. 

“ _Manual override required._ ” The ship announced. On the other side of the room, a lever popped out of the console and both Thomas and Richard turned. 

Thomas ran over to the lever, pulling it down hard. A metal cylinder slammed down in the middle of the reactor, pushing the fire outward. Nothing changed. 

“ _Vent failure._ ” The ship announced. 

“ _Come on!_ ” Thomas yelled, pulling the lever down again, only for the same thing to happen. 

“ _Outer door nonresponsive._ ” A graphic showed on the screen in front of them, showing the outer door outlined in red. 

“What does that _mean?_ ” Richard shouted angrily. They had repaired everything, why wasn’t anything working? 

“The outer door is jammed. We've got to open that door and cool the reactor down, or the whole ship is going to blow.” Thomas said, looking from the screen to Richard. 

“How?” 

“I got to go out there. Open it from the outside.” Thomas swallowed, knowing likely what it meant for him. He turned, making his way towards cabinets near the back of the room.

“I open the door, I get clear. You blow that fire into space.” Thomas said, leaning down to take two earpieces off a shelf and handing one to Richard. 

“You get. . .clear?” Richard took the earpiece, sounding upset. “What happens to you when that door opens?”

Thomas looked at Richard, then sighed softly and took an industrial screwdriver to get the heavy-duty door off the cabinet. He held it up in front of him. “Heat shield.”

He made his way quickly to the space-walking room, Richard following behind him. As he pressed the button to open his suit, he turned and handed Richard Robert’s ID band. 

“Might need this,” Thomas said softly, suddenly realizing the gravity of what he was about to do. Richard’s gaze met his and neither of them spoke for several moments, words couldn’t convey the feelings they both had, savoring what might be the last contact they ever had. 

“It’s going to be okay.” Thomas reassured quietly. The ship jolted and sounds of something metal groaning deep within the ship caused him to break eye contact. “I’d better go.”

“Thomas?” Richard asked as he turned, settling the helmet on his head and thus blocking all outside sound. 

“Thomas.” Richard’s voice crackled through his earpiece, and Thomas turned back around. “Come back to me.” Tears formed in his red-rimmed eyes, and his voice cracked, “I can’t live on this ship without you.” Tears pricked Thomas’s eyes and, unable to form the words, he nodded, smiling sadly as the doors closed between them.


	14. Chapter 14

The moment the doors blocked Thomas from view, Richard took only a moment to let his emotions get the better of him, overwhelmed at what they were each about to do, scared for Thomas, scared for himself and for the rest of the five thousand others on the ship - then dashed away his tears and ran back to the power control room. He and Thomas would save the ship together. They had to. 

As soon as the doors opened to the control room, a wave of heat his Richard, causing him to block his face with his arms. Everything in him told him to get out, to run away from the incredible, overpowering heat, but still he pushed forward. 

“ _Warning: Temperature critical._ ” The ship continued announcing repeatedly as alarms blared. 

Ignoring the alarms inside as well as out, Richard reached the lever. He grabbed it with his hand, only to feel his skin seared, pain blistering through his palm and up his arm as he snatched it away and cried out. He cradled his hand to his chest, unable to focus on anything else for a few seconds until his brain kicked into overdrive and he looked around for something to cover the lever with. 

His shirt! 

Richard looked down, tearing his shirt over his head, leaving him in only his undershirt – a tank top plastered to his skin by the rising heat. He wrapped his shirt around the lever and was relieved when he could hold it with only minimal heat. 

As he did so, the ship rocked again, unsteadying him. The fireball pounded against the glass, pushing an even hotter wave of heat towards him. As it did so, the explosion knocked a bolt loose from the wall and suddenly the bolt was in his upper left arm and he was on the ground with a yell of pain. A string of curses flew from his mouth and he saw stars for a few moments. 

“What’s wrong? What’s the matter? Are you okay?” Thomas’s voice came through the earpiece in response to his cries, filled with worry.

“Nothing. Go.” Richard shook his head, gritting his teeth as he sat against the console and prepared to pull the searing piece of metal out of his arm. 

“Are you sure?”

“Go.” Richard sounded far more decisive than he felt as he wrapped his fingers around the bolt and pulled, feeling a rush of dizziness at the pain. Black tinged the edge of his vision until he tore a part of his undershirt to wrap his arm tightly with. It was all he could do to stand up and lean heavily against the console, hand prepared to pull the lever at Thomas’s signal. 

A minute later, Thomas’s voice came through the earpiece, “I’m at the vent tube. I’ve got a new anchor point and I see the door.”

“ _Temperature level rising. Warning. Temperature critical, containment unstable._ ” 

Ignoring the warnings, Richard nodded and took a steadying breath. “I’m ready, just say when.”

“Here goes,” Thomas said. Richard waited with bated breath until he heard Thomas curse, “Fuck, the door won’t open. I’m going to have to bypass it.” 

“Temperature level rising.” The ship repeated, skyrocketing Richard’s anxiety as the fireball whirled angrily within the core, now picking up bits of metal along the inner walls. 

“Thomas – _please_ hurry!” Richard pleaded breathlessly, looking on in horror as an entire metal panel was picked up into the vortex of fire. 

“Okay, I’m trying it again.”

“Tell me when you’re clear.” 

Silence. And then, “No!”

“What’s going on?” Richard asked, adding confusion to his already near panicked state. 

“Thomas?” 

Nothing. 

“ _Thomas!_ ”

“The door won’t stay open.” Thomas finally spoke, the hopelessness in his tone striking dread into his heart. “I, ah, think I have to stay here, and hold the door open.” 

“What. . .?” Richard gasped, attempting to wrap his brain around just exactly _how_ the door wouldn’t stay open and why Thomas would need to stay out there. “N-no-no! No way, get out of there you hear me?” Richard commanded. 

“I can’t,” Thomas sounded quiet, defeated. 

“Thomas!” He pleaded. Around him the ship continued its alarms, bolts and sheets of metal hitting the glass as the fireball only increased its energy.

“We’re out of time.” Thomas sounded resolute now, like there was no convincing him otherwise. Richard could have puked from the fear and grief. 

“Vent the reactor.” Thomas commanded, sounding worryingly calm, clear his mind had been made up. 

“No! You don’t understand!” Richard implored, “If I open the door right now it will kill you!” 

“I’m hoping not.” Came the grim reply. 

“Come back in. We’ll think of something else!” Richard pleaded, on the verge of tears and collapse. 

“There _is_ nothing else.”

“Thomas!”

“It’s okay,” Thomas reassured him.

“No! It’s _not_ okay!” Richard cried, biting back a sob. There was _no way_ he was losing Thomas now – not after what they’d been through together. Not after he’d been sentenced to a life on this ship with only him for company. 

“ _Warning: Temperature level exceeded._ ” 

“This isn’t what you said was going to happen!” Richard yelled, trembling despite the extreme heat. 

“Richard, this ship is going to go.” Thomas reminded him.

“I don’t care! You die, I die!” Richard replied, panic pitching his voice. 

“There are five thousand other people on this ship, Richard. We must do this.” Thomas’s voice remained quiet and calm, unwavering, unlike Richard’s. 

“ _Maximum pressure reached._ ” 

The glass began buckling under the pressure, and the bolts hitting it began spider-webbing cracks everywhere. 

“Do it. Now.” Thomas’s voice cracked then, and Richard sobbed. 

“ _Maximum cabin pressure reached._ ” The ship repeated.

Richard wrapped his hand around the level, tears blurring his vision. He squeezed his eyes shut and with a sob that wracked his body, pulled. If he could have seen Thomas, he would have seen the tears streaming down Richard’s face echoed in his. 

Almost immediately, the temperature in the room began dropping and the roaring of the flames began funneling out the open door on the other side of the core. Gradually it grew quieter and darker.

“ _Vent successful._ ” The ship announced. 

“Thomas?” Richard asked, hesitantly into the silence. 

“ _Rebooting process initiated._ ” Familiar cool blue lights illuminated the room and the hot, fiery vortex was gone, replaced with a steadily swirling blue force of energy. 

“Thomas, please say something,” Richard asked, heart sinking. His chest heaved as he tried to regain some semblance of normality within his body before he collapsed. All he could hear through his earpiece was the roaring of static without a hint of Thomas’s voice. The deafening silence broke Richard’s heart, until – 

“Richard?” His voice was quiet, nearly hidden beneath the layer of static – but he was alive! Everything had worked.

“It worked!” Richard shouted, unable to contain his joy, a smile broadening across his face. “You did it! You can come in!”

“Yes. . .about that,” Thomas replied, sounding hesitant. 

“What is it? Are you hurt?” Richard asked, worried again. 

“I got blown out of the tube.”

“What?”

“My tether broke. I can’t get back to the ship.” 

“I’ll come out. I’ll come out and I’ll pull you in.” Richard replied immediately, already sprinting towards the space-walking room. 

“Richard,” Thomas gasped, sounding as if he was running out of air. Richard could hear his labored breathing, and what sounded like glass cracking through the earpiece. “I’m sorry. . . for everything.”

“Shut it. I’m coming.” Richard said, rushing to put his suit on. The thought of losing Thomas now, after everything, was unimaginable. Although a few days ago the thought of being alone with him in the same room was unbearable, it was now the only thing Richard wanted. 

“I wish we’d have met in ninety years. I’d have built you a house. I’d have read your book. It’s going to be great.” Thomas spoke between labored breaths.

The tether attached to his suit as Richard stepped into the walkway, shoving down the handle and hitting the red button. He stood on the edge of the hull and looked up into the sky, frantically searching for Thomas. “Locate Thomas Barrow.” He commanded the suit. Moments later, he was located. Showing up as only a small speck, his suit illuminated the space around him, making him a beacon of light – of hope. 

“I’m coming to get you, my love.” Richard said, unsure if he was still conscious anymore. Without any hesitation, he leapt into space, thrusters in his suit on full and target towards Thomas locked on. Excruciatingly slowly, he drew closer to Thomas, but just as he drew within touching distance he was jerked backwards by his tether which had reached the end of its lead. 

“ _NO_!” Richard yelled, arms outstretched, face crumpling. He had been _so_ close. He looked around, as if something was going to appear that could help him.

Then he saw it. The severed end of Thomas’s tether, swinging around towards him. He reached out, straining as far as he could until he closed his hand around it. Quickly, he pulled Thomas towards him as the lights in his suit flickered out and he was able to see the damage that had been done. Stomach sinking, he made his way as fast as he could back to the ship to get him out of his suit and to the infirmary. 

Laying him down inside the space-walking room, Richard made quick work of getting Thomas out of his spacesuit. Fingers shaking, he undid the seal that held his helmet on and the knot of fear grew in his stomach when he saw his face a deathly pale, lips and nose blue, eyebrows and eyelashes covered in ice. He couldn’t make out whether he was breathing or not. He took his own suit off first, tossing it on the ground, and once he got Thomas out of his suit, he picked him up with a grunt, the wound in his arm protesting in pain. He wasn’t used to carrying such dead weight. Pressing his lips together, he shoved the thought out of his mind and began making his way to the infirmary. 

Once in the infirmary, Richard heaved Thomas into the Autodoc and the pod sealed over him, immediately going to work scanning over his entire body before announcing the words Richard dreaded to hear. 

“ _I’m sorry. The patient is dead_.” 

“Well resuscitate him!” Richard shouted, fists banging on the sides of the glass tube that covered Thomas. 

“ _Postmortem operations require authorized medical supervision_.”

“No!” Richard cried, feeling utterly hopeless and lost. He rested his forehead against the glass, looking at the body within, feeling ready to fall apart. There was nothing he could do. He had no authorit- He did! Robert’s ID band! 

Trembling, he pulled the ID band out of his pocket, nearly dropping it as he scanned it in front of the tablet. “Override! Override on my authority! ID one-two. . .”

“Two. . .Two. . .” He fought to breathe, unable to remember the number. Without it the wristband would be useless! He squeezed his eyes shut, fighting to remember. 

“ID two-four. . .one-seven. . .No. . ah-”

“Two. . .three-one-seven.”

“ID two-three-one-seven!” Richard shouted triumphantly.

Options for treatment came up on the screen and he selected resuscitation. The option expanded to many other options and Richard hastily selected as many as he could. Thomas was _not_ dying on him. He couldn’t, not after everything. 

“ _Multiple procedures are not recommended._ ”

“Override!” Richard yelled. “ _Do it now!_ ” He could hear his own voice, pitched with panic. He realized just how much he loved and just how much he needed him, and suddenly understood the overwhelming, crushing panic that the thought of being without human company for the rest of his life induced.

“ _Executing._ ” The Autodoc said as an oxygen mask extended to fit over Thomas’s mouth and various needles pierced his arms, injecting unknown fluids while electricity paddles rested on his chest, causing him to jolt once, twice. 

Richard watched with bated breath, palms pressed tightly against the glass, waiting to see if he would get the love of his life back, or be alone forevermore.


	15. Chapter 15

Richard stared hard as the seconds dragged by, feeling as if time was moving in slow motion as he waited – waited to see if those grey eyes would crack open, if his chest would rise and fall with a breath. What felt like hours were only mere seconds, perhaps a minute, as he watched intently for any signs of life, hope draining from his body the longer it wore on. 

Then, as he watched, he saw Thomas’s eyelids waver, then slowly blink open. Grey eyes looked up at him as he drew a slow breath into his body. 

He was alive.

Thomas Barrow was _alive_.

Tears poured down Richard’s face as he sobbed with relief, opening the glass and cupping Thomas’s now warm cheeks as he crawled onto the table with him. HewasalivehewasaliveThomaswasalive! Between sobs, he bent down to kiss him.

“You brought me back,” Thomas breathed, a faint smile gracing his lips. 

“Yeah,” Richard smiled, leaning into the fingers that gently brushed away his tears. He lay beside him, savoring the warmth that passed between them, the rise and fall of each other’s chests, the overjoyed, desperate kisses shared between smiles. The adrenaline was finally wearing off and he felt exhausted, not wanting to move even if he could. Eventually Richard laid his head on Thomas’s chest and let his eyes close, feeling safe listening to the steady rhythm of his heart as he drifted to sleep.

* * *

Thomas’s recovery was smooth and relatively quick. Within two weeks he was back on his feet and ready to work and enjoy life on the ship again. Thomas couldn’t have been happier, and he was sure Richard couldn’t either – they were back to living in accidental happiness. Their love, which Thomas had been worried would never recover, rekindled nearly instantly and was even stronger than before. He felt free to be completely open, now that there truly were no secrets between them. 

He was glad to have someone to sleep next to again, to have someone to talk to. There were nights where he relived the nightmares of the ship nearly exploding, or being set adrift in the universe in a failed spacesuit to die; but when he woke in a cold sweat, crying out, Richard was there to comfort him, to reassure him that they were both safe. Just as Richard was there to comfort him, he was there to comfort Richard. They both had their traumas to deal with, and they wouldn’t be gotten over lightly, but with each other’s reassurance and many late-night talks, they worked through their issues.

One day, a few weeks into his recovery, Thomas decided to go back to the infirmary. He had an idea and as much as it pained him to think about, he knew he had to follow through with it. So, as Richard began fixing up Carson’s face and the bar, Thomas went down to see what he could learn about the Autodoc. He discovered that he’d been right – there was an option, in Command Mode by using Robert’s ID, called Stabilize and Suspend. He knew what he had to do, dreading the answer he was certain would come. 

He found Richard in the bar, nearly finished with repainting one of Carson’s worse wounds on his forehead. It looked nearly identical to the surrounding skin. He approached, resting a hand on his shoulder. Richard looked up at him, a smile coming to his lips. Upon seeing Thomas’s somber expression, the smile fell. “There’s something I have to show you.”

Thomas led the way to the infirmary and Autodoc in the middle of the room. He felt Richard tense beside him. He swiped Robert’s ID band, tapping on the screen. “In Command Mode, it turns out the Autodoc has an option called Stabilize and Suspend. It stops all metabolic activity.”

When Thomas looked over at him, Richard’s brow was creased. “What’re you saying?”

“With Robert’s ID it can be like hibernation inside the Autodoc. You can go back to sleep. Wake up when you’re meant to, with all the other passengers.” His voice was heavy, serious. 

“But there’s only one Autodoc.” 

“Yeah.” Thomas nodded, turning to fully face Richard. “And you’re going to lay down in it and fall asleep. And you'll wake up on Homestead II. And you'll write your book. You'd finish your journey. You'd do what you set out to do.” He spoke softly, watching as Richard crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking sad, like he was considering his words. Thomas waited patiently as he looked between the Autodoc and him.

“You would be alone.” He said with a soft sigh, meeting and holding his gaze.

“I’ve been alone before. And I’ll be fine.” Thomas replied quietly. 

“But I would never see you again.” Richard’s voice was even quieter now. Thomas could feel the weight behind his words, torn. This was why he’d done this – to give him a choice at what he could do with his life. 

“I’ll come and visit you,” Thomas whispered in reply, not allowing his emotions to betray the steadiness of his voice. Richard could choose to go back to sleep, to live out what he’d planned – and Thomas had to be okay with that. It wasn’t his choice to make. 

Heart beating rapidly in his chest, Thomas held his breath in silence as Richard looked slowly from him to the Autodoc, then back to him, and let out a tiny sigh, reaching for his hands. Thomas let his fingers entwine with Richard’s, still unsure, even as Richard shook his head ever so slightly and pulled him closer, lips meeting in the middle. Thomas let himself relax, the tension in his shoulders melting away as Richard disentangled a hand from his to wind it around his waist and tug him flush against his chest, opening his mouth to brush his tongue across his bottom lip and deepen the kiss. 

Thomas pulled away for a breath a minute later, resting his forehead against Richard’s, eyes still closed. He had to ask what his choice was – was he staying? Was he going to sleep? “So what’re you going to-” He started to ask, when suddenly there was a finger pressed gently against his lips. 

“Hush,” Richard breathed, looking up at him, “Kiss me, darling.” 

Thomas decided in that moment, no matter Richard’s decision, he would not stop himself from enjoying kissing his boyfriend. And so he leaned in, reaching up to cup Richard’s cheek with one hand and pull him closer, kissing him like his life depended on it. 

Some minutes later, Richard pulled away, eliciting a groan of disappointment from Thomas. He only smiled conspiratorially and threaded his fingers back through his own, leading him back towards their room. 

Together they fell on the bed, undoing buttons and pulling off shirts until neither of them were clothed and Thomas was moaning as Richard bit at his neck and muttered filthy things in his ear while grinding hard against him. He arched his back when Richard slid his hand between them, drawing a deeper moan of pleasure. 

When they were both satisfied, some several minutes later, Thomas lay beside Richard, gently pushing his sweaty hair off his forehead. He smiled, feeling utterly content, having forgotten temporarily about what decision Richard was going to make about the Autodoc, when Richard whispered, “Did you really think I was going to get in that pod and leave you all alone, Thomas?” The corners of his mouth turned up as he spoke, but his tone spoke volumes.

“I’m afraid I’ve been a silly boy, Richard.” Thomas replied, a nearly forgotten, yet familiar pang of regret knotting his stomach. “There’s not a day that passes that I don’t feel the consequence of what I’ve done to you, that I don’t feel my own selfishness breaking my heart. When I woke you up I stole your life. I. . .I murdered you – left you no choice in the matter. So when I figured out the Autodoc had a feature that could put someone back into hibernation there wasn’t a shadow of a doubt in my mind to give you back the life that I stole from you because no matter how much I would miss you, how much I want you to stay, how badly I crave you even when you’re right next to me, I want you to have the life that you want, the life you _deserve_ -“ Thomas’s voice cracked and he swallowed back the lump in his throat, feeling tears well in his eyes. Clearing his throat, he continued in an unsteady voice. “There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you, and it would be more than enough to know that you would be happy and living the life you’ve dreamed of.”

“Oh, Thomas,” Richard murmured, taken aback by his sincerity. 

“I never understood all of those love songs about how it feels to dance freely with the one you love, to kiss them and hold them and never want to let go but – but I understand now, because of you. I was ready to. . .I was ready to end my life the night I saw you in your pod. You were the one who saved me. It’s my turn now, and I don’t want to end yours – not now that you have the chance to live it fully.” Thomas finished, blinking and feeling tears stream down his face. He ducked his head until a finger gently lifted his chin up and he met Richard’s eyes. 

Tears shone in his eyes too, and with the quietest breath said, “I wouldn’t have lived this story if it weren’t for you. I’m not going anywhere.” He leaned forward then, to gently kiss away the trail of tears rolling down his cheeks, landing eventually on his lips, and there was nothing Thomas wouldn’t give to stay in that moment forever.

* * *

“Tuesday’s my day with Carson.” Richard joked as he walked into the bar. Thomas turned in his seat to see Richard walking in with a wide grin on his face, and Thomas smiled broadly back. They were having a date night, to celebrate one month of the ship being once again stable and safe, and to having not died getting there. 

“Handsome as ever,” Carson commented with a friendly smile as Richard sat down next to Thomas. He was dressed in a fine suit, his hair perfectly styled. 

“Thank you, Carson.” Richard replied, smiling at the bartender. Carson handed them each a glass of champagne topped with a strawberry, and the three settled into a comfortable conversation until Thomas noticed Richard glance down at the black velvet pouch resting on the counter in front of him. 

Thomas felt a blush of nerves rise to his cheeks when Richard asked, “What’s that?” 

“Something I’ve wanted to give you for a long time.” Thomas slid the pouch towards him with a small smile.

Richard slowly opened the pouch, pulling out an intricately carved silver engagement ring. 

His mouth dropped open and Thomas smiled wider as Richard slowly looked up at him, wide-eyed. “It’s beautiful,” he said, and Thomas couldn’t resist taking the ring from his fingers and sliding it reverently on to Richard’s ring finger with slightly trembling hands. 

“Took you long enough to ask.” Richard teased lightly, a wide smile breaking across his face as he cupped his face and kissed him as Thomas laughed. All his nerves disappeared the moment Richard’s lips met his and elation filled his chest. He got to spend the rest of his life on a luxurious ship with the man he’d previously only dared to dream of. 

Later that evening they were walking slowly around the ship, fingers loosely entwined, talking about everything and nothing, sharing intimate kisses as they pleased until they found themselves in the observation deck nestled together in one of the rows. Their conversation slowly petered out and they fell into a comfortable silence until Richard looked over at him, a warm smile spreading over his face and chuckled, “It’s a hell of a life, isn’t it.”

Thomas nodded in agreement, returning his smile and letting himself let lost in the depths of the affection he felt for the man staring in adoration at him. “Hell of a life.”


	16. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you’ve all enjoyed reading this story as much as I've enjoyed writing it! Hearing all of your lovely comments made writing this even more enjoyable. I’ve never written anything this long before, so to accomplish this over the course of three months was no small feat for me, so thank you so so so much for reading! It’s been one hell of a ride. This project has come to mean so much to me, and I’d be lying if I say I’m not emotional about finishing writing this – but not to worry, I am in no way done writing about our Mr. Barrow and Mr. Ellis. 😉

_88 Years Later_

__

__  


_Crew wake-up process initiated._ Pods began lighting up and opening, beginning the process that had started ninety years ago for two other passengers. 

As the crew awoke and began preparing the ship for the last four-months of their journey, they found not a pristine white ship bathed in cool blue lights, but something of a lush, green paradise instead. The grand concourse was covered in lush grass and varied plants, tree after tree growing to staggering heights. A brook flowed from the fountain and wound around through the various flowerbeds and vegetable gardens. Birds flitted overhead and a chicken coop had been built, out of which came several chickens. The corridors of the ship were lined with plants and flowers, and several copies of Richard’s book were scattered throughout. As the crew entered the grand concourse, Richard’s voice came over the speakers and rang through the ship. 

“My fellow passengers, if you’re hearing this, then the starship Avalon has reached its final destination. A lot happened while you slept.

A friend once said that, “You can’t get so hung up on where you’d rather be that you forget to make the most of where you are. We got lost along the way, but we found each other. 

And we made a life. A _beautiful_ life. 

Together.”


End file.
